Damn I am fucking funny
Three mountain guides are sitting around a campfire deciding to hold up below treeline, out on the lonesome, each with the bravado for which guides are famous.
A night of tall tales begins... The first guide says, "I must be the meanest, toughest guide there is. Why, just the other day, an ornery bull elk got loose in Banff and gored six tourists before I wrestled him to the ground by the horns with my bare hands."
The second guide, not to be outdone, boasted: "Why that's nothin'. I was climbing in Skaha walking the trail yesterday and a 15 foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that varmint with my bare hands, bit it's head off, and sucked the poison right out of my arm. And I'm still here today."
The third guide , Gary, remained silent,...
slowly stirring the coals with his penis.