1 definition by ZB3000

Top Definition
A self-proclaimed "Greatest Man That Ever Lived". While self-proclaimed, a Jakob will have done much to prove it to the world, such as pimping on every woman on the planet, being selected to breed with two ladies (in a church youth group no less), and surviving being molested by an army of 12-13 year old girls going through puberty.

One cannot be described as a Jakob without first paddling more than 10 miles on an elliptical, hitting the floor and doing 10,000 crunches, turning over and doing 333 push-ups, and then taking a girl and performing The Jakob Effect (Full Nelson into a Side Effect) on her through three burning tables and onto an elliptical below her, but not before giving her a Cross Bomb from atop a nearby Stairmaster.

A Jakob is not a gentleman; HE WILL cum in your mouth.
"I am Jakob, hear me roar!"
by ZB3000 January 13, 2010

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