8 definitions by Wyatt Junker

Top Definition
What Amish men scream in prison when they're getting butt raped.
Not wanting to offend, Obediah shouted "Ah FIDDLESTICKS!" while getting pounded in the shit cave by his bunk buddy.
by Wyatt Junker October 07, 2009
Someone who enters a fast food establishment for the sole purpose of using their public restroom.

Very similar to a shit & run, but you actually make it into the toilet in a very respectable manner like a big boy goes.
McDonald's had to hire extra janitors just to deal with all the shit hitters coming off of I-5 on their long bumpy car rides to buttfuck Egypt.
by Wyatt Junker November 01, 2010
A klutzy slut. A hot girl who's accident prone, she tries to be sexy but can't pull it off; farts during a pole dance or trips when she's stripping.

She may have medical issues like a broken ear drum affecting balance or a club foot.
Man, she's hot, but she threw up all over me during the lapdance. She's a total triptease.
by Wyatt Junker July 10, 2008
1) The art of using one's feet only when inside a public restroom.

2) To avoid germs in the bathroom, a strict no hands policy of flushing the toilet with a karate kick or hooking the top of one's shoe under a stall door to open it.

3) The World Cup of Crap.
He was very skilled at his restroom soccer, an accomplished Pelé on his home field of Brazil, but not on a field and not in Brazil. In an Exxon Mobil shitter.
by Wyatt Junker July 11, 2011
1) A hard, rocky turd, usually spherical but can be patty-shaped. Just one, no more no less, in the bowl, as if it cracked off a canyon wall.

2) Any kind of stone shaped shit that may or may not tear one's anus on the way out.

3) What almost squished Indiana Jones in his first movie before he deftly dodged it to safety.

4) What can sometimes dangerously develop in one's lowers after eating two whole, nutritious loaves of white Wonderbread simultaneously without drinking a glass of water.
Dude, that butthole boulder you just launched rolled like a stone down the bowl like some underwater pinball machine. See if you can fish it out. We need a new doorstop.
by Wyatt Junker July 10, 2011
Driving with one's left foot resting just outside of the driver's side window. Similar to driving with a gangster lean, but not as hardcore. Requires the subject to be limber and totally lax like they're at the beach, except instead they are zipping through traffic.
Yeah, the cop pulled her over for lawn chair driving. Said her foot was blocking her side mirror.
by Wyatt Junker May 07, 2011
When she won't let you touch her cans at 2nd base, they now are officially called her wont's.

Technically, they may also be called her cannots.
She had a fantastic set of cans, but since they were for seeing only and not touching, he referred to them thereafter as her wont's.

Bobby, who was more Biblical in his understanding, understood the forbidden nature of an upright female's cans and referred to them as her thou-shall-nots.
by Wyatt Junker January 06, 2012

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