1 definition by Works for Food

Top Definition
Dynamic Western Canadian City 77 miles east of Rocky Mountains. Originally the area was inhabited by first nations people. Later a Fort was built on the confluence of the Bow and Elbow rivers by the Northwest Mounted Police. Soon after hardy, independent immigrant settlers from Europe and Chinese bulding the railroad arrived and began farming and ranching. The Ranching business and meat packing industry resulted inCalgary becoming "Cowtown" The town still becomes Cowtown during Stampede, Calgary's annual summer festival of fun and nonsense and a summer break from hard work. Following the discovery of petroleum and natural gas at Brooks, Turner Valley, Bow Island and Leduc Calgary became the business centre for the oil and gas business. Engineering, Geoscience, technology, land and finance seems to be focused more in Calgary. Edmonton closer to the northern oil and gas discoveries, and "Gateway to the North" ended up as the staging ground for exploration and the "hardware store" and service center for the oilpatch. It is markedly different from Calgary but a great city as well. Calgary has a hard work ethic sometimes verging on workaholism and yet it plays hard too. Calgarians and Albertans in general are very generous with time, money and talents. Average people and millionaires rub shoulders in countless community charitable efforts. Most people who move to Calgary end up liking it as people are traditionally friendly and neighbourly although the boom times have attracted many who don't care to work
and are here only to take all they can get without giving back. Some by crime and violence. Those sorry mutts who bitch and complain about Calgary are in the main shallow callow self absorbed young twits /twats who have never seen the rest of the world other than in a rock video and are the sad pointless nihilistic effluent of an education system run by spoiled leftist whingers who are never happy with much of anything. We have to keep reminding them that if they hate Calgary there are 50 or sixty fligts and dozens of buses a day back to Butthole, Ontario or wherever it is that they think is utopia. Toronto ? Hah! Plenty of bridges to bail off of right into the icy cold anaesthetizing waters of the Beautiful clean Bow River. A fine trout stream. So take your enormous ecological footprint stats and shove them up your tigt eastern sphincters! As well Calgary has a better educated, well travelled, more internationally cospmopolitan population than nearly anywhere in Canada. Granted Calgary has problems with traffic, Hummer driving louts, flashy greedhead opportunists , smelly addicted beggars, useless waste of skin druggies, vandals and brain dead graffiti "artists." and the aformentioned leftist vegetarian dorks. The nice thing is that having been through a few of these g-damned booms we know that once the bloom is off the boom the whole scummy works all get back on the Greyhound with their orange Hefty bag luggage and head back to whatever rock they crawled out from under to come here. We hose down the spots they have skulked and lolled around so as to wash away the dreck foul odours and soon all is good and happy again. We are hoping it will be real soon.
by Works for Food September 04, 2006

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