A big computer nerd, who grew up with no friends. He created a network of people, in which he is automatically added as everyone's friend. This makes Tom think that he has actual friends (he doesn't) and he can now sleep and masturbate without crying.
Person 1: "Hey, I just joined MySpace and this Tom guy is apparently my friend. I don't know him and he doesn't look like the type of person that I would normally befriend."
Person 2: "Myspace Tom is a computer nerd and made it so the MySpace network automatically makes him your friend. I suggest that you immediately delete that pathetic loser from your friends."
A disease that afflicts me and made me think for 3 years of my life that my left leg was longer than my right leg. Every time my phone rings I think it is the FBI. And every time my doorbell rings I think it is a giant purple dinosaurs that eats children.
Person: "William, why are you in the fetal position under your bed?"