A turd assault is when you go to take a crap, but all that comes out are turds. There is an absence of any long pieces of poop, and only short, round turds are present. Usually dissapointing for any male to experience.
My last toilet visit was just a turd assault. What a rip...
Small village near Cincinnati. Poor, boring, and... small, Lockland has a school thats in the hole. Once a booming city, everything went to shit when P&G moved. Despite popular belief, its not a land of locks. About 200 or so people live there, and only 10 people have heard of it.
Guy 1: Yea, I live in Lockland.
Guy 2: Where?
Guy 1: Lockland..
Guy 2: A land of locks?
(Guy 1 procceds to stab Guy 2)