They tell ye that the haggis be wee chopped up stuff stuffed into a bladder with pepper and spices, but ye don' know the trooth!
The haggis is a wee wild animal!
Resembles a hedgehog, but with fearsome teeth, claws and a tartan waistcoat. They eyes, too, they be red and glowing like the moon. They burrow deep underground, and live around the highlands. They hunt in clans. And they're coming for yoo...
Farmer's wife: Och! The haggis ha' been at the sheep again the now! We're fucked.
Farmer: <swigs whisky and loads shotgun> Ah'm goin' huntin' for haggis