Come on down to Cleveland town everyone
Under construction since 1868
See our river that catches on fire
It's so polluted that all our fish have AIDS
See the sun almost three times a year
this guy has at least two DUIs
Flats looks like a Scooby Doo ghost town
Don't slow down in East Cleveland or you'll die
Our economy's based on Lebron James
Buy a house for the price of a VCR
Our main export is crippling depression
We're so retarded that we think this is art
It could be worse but at least we're not Detroit!
We're not Detroit!
-This actually happened.