3 definitions by WCrispy

Top Definition
A supposed digital service provider employing a business plan from the stone age set up to do nothing other than rape it's customers. Instead of allowing consumers to choose their own content packages, they force 90% extra bullshit fluff added to the 10% of services you actually want for ridiculously outlandish prices.

Running with a completely streamlined skeletoned system of equipment and hardware that's not kept up to date with modern firmware or standards whatsoever, nothing is ever working the way it's intended and if anything goes wrong expect to be ignored until it starts working again, which can take hours if not days at a time.

Line signal strength is a joke and overtaxed during peak hours so if you're neighbor is looking up porn while you wish to game online expect frequent lag and disconnections. Switching stations have no stand by systems or backups in place so if anything on the Comcast service network goes down you have no services, such as Television, Internet and Phone.
1. I just got booted from Xbox Live! Again! Fucking asshat next door must be jerking off!

2. Comcast is down, better call it in to complain... oh wait, Comcast also provides the phone, and since the service is down the phone isn't working.

3. Customer service has had me on hold for hours! They must not have any staff to handle anything because they expect no one to call when the service is down because it disables the customer's phone! Guess they don't realize we still have cellphones! Oh I just got through... nope they don't speak English and promptly hung up on me!

4. I've just pinged the local switching station's IP and I'm getting not half the rate for which I'm paying for their supposed "high-speed" internet... customer service tells me that I'm paying for "up-to" a certain speed. I'm thinking about only paying "up-to" a certain amount of my fucking bill! Fuck Comcast, I'm cancelling this shit!
by WCrispy July 23, 2009

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1. A large retail chain that has swallowed up and crushed every other video game store on the planet, thanks to their cutthroat business tactics and biased marketing deals with game developers.

2. A pawn shop that specifically caters to ripping off unsuspecting children.

3. A place of supposed business hiring idiotic fanboys too stupid to realize that they won't make enough money to buy the games they love so much due to getting no hours on the schedule for lack of upselling magazine subscriptions like a drooling girl scout.

4. A special section reserved in the fourth layer of hell where your wallet and sanity aren't the only things raped.

5. A place where fangirls flex their knowledge in hopes of wooing unshowered, overweight nerds, only to reject their advances, because no one outside of Gamestop or the MMOs they play will give them a second look.

6. A business where the average transaction takes over 25 minutes to complete because the clerks hold your purchase hostage until they recite a novel's worth of asinine bullshit concerning pre-ordering of a title due to the district manager's bonus that's tied in.

7. A decaying, outdated, archaic business model that will choke as soon as the next generation of consoles that don't play used games launch.

8. A store where the district managers have never worked a retail gig, let alone played an actual video game, grind employee souls into the epoxy used to create the fee-ridden Comdata pay cards.
Clerk: Howdy, boss, welcome to Gamestop!

You: I'd like to purchase this game.

Clerk: That won't happen until you reserve nine games and buy this magazine which gives you $0.02 savings on every purchase.

You: No thanks, just the one game.

Clerk: Are you sure? My overlords are watching me right now, and they're going to sacrifice a human baby and drink its blood in the name of Mammon if I don't get 47 reserves and 23 subscriptions today...

You: I'm going to Wal Mart, Target, Frys, or Best Buy where they don't nickel and dime me for stupid shit, have whatever I want in stock whether I pre-order it or not, including special editions that you short-sell to doctor supply and demand, and I'm pissing on this broken demo Wii stand on my way out in hopes of giving the next child that tries to play it AIDS so he'll die before you get any more of his allowance.
by WCrispy May 01, 2012

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Noun - A pun of "asshole" and "necromancer." Someone well versed in the art of conjuring up rudeness.
The user-based editors ruining Urban Dictionary are a bunch of assholemancers.
by WCrispy May 20, 2014

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt