1 definition by Vegan!

Top Definition
Someone who doesn't have the balls/willpower to go vegan.
person a: HEY yo, Bob, wanna go to Mcdonalds?
person b: HOW DARE YOU? What type of sick mother fucker are you Augustus? I'm a vegetarian *proud look*, i don't believe in the horrendous abuse animals suffer each and every day just for your pleasure *evil glare directed from person b to person a* person b bites into dairy queen's extra large chocolate icecream extravaganza after this exersion.
in struts vegan dude
vegan dude: hey dudes, wanna go to veg planet and get some awesome soy smoothies?
person b: YEESH, just because i'm a vegetarian, doesn't mean i'm some psychopathic tree hugging hippie who eats nothing but vegetables *rolls eyes*, what do you take me for anyway?
vegan dude: I thought you were a vegetarian? I mean, aren't you against animal exploitation?
person b: Well duh! tucks into more dairy queen chocolate extra large icecream extravaganza. Jesus, you vAYgans, give us all a bad name... As if animals are harmed for this points towards half eaten dairy queen extra large chocolate extravaganza. You guys are all gonna die anyway, everyone KNOWS you must drink the milk of another species to remain healthy, thats what my teacher said *turns on Avril Lavigne cd*.
vegan dude recoils in pain from such poor taste in music, but being the buff vegan he is, persists
Vegan dude: Don't you know that cows have to produce ten times more milk than they would normally? That because of this massive weight on their udders, they develop the painful disease, mastitis which causes pus to leak into the very milk you drink? Haven't you heard that the cow's babies are ripped from their mothers within the first 2 days of their birth so that they can then be turned into veal? Don't you know that the cows are then killed after about five years old because they have stopped producing enough milk? How can you eat that pus infected crap? *points towards dairy queens extra large chocolate extravaganza icecream*
person a is visibly stunned
person a: whoa, shit man, that's awful *has hurt face*... Whoa i'm never gonna eat animal products again! person a grabs leaflets and runs off towards veg planet in search of satisfying vegan food, and interesting vegan people.
meanwhile, person b continues eating extra large dairy queen chocolate extravaganza.
vegan dude: So, what about going vegan then? It's not that hard to be vegan, infact with all these new alternatives it's never been easier *hands person b a soy icecream* if you want, i'd gladly help you make the right steps to going vegan friendly smile.
person b: How dare you preach to me, you vegan nazi you? What, do you think you're better than everyone else? HUH HUH? *slaps vegan soy icecream on the floor* more glaring. Just because i eat icecream that doesn't mean i'm evil! *is blatanlty oblivious to the way he just treated person a* You're all the same you vaygans, what do you think you can control the world? HUH HUH? You take things too far! what next? you gonna start saying vegetables have feelings HUH HUH? I mean, yeah precisely why do you eat plants? huh? they have lives, yeeesh, poor plants, you're so cruel, fucker!
vegan dude: There is a big difference to chopping up a carrot, to chopping up a baby calf *rolls eyes*.
person b: Well icecream tastes good, you depressed emo attention seeking piece of shit of a nazi terrorist! vegan dude rolls eyes more, while staring at punk clothes person b is wearing bought from hot topic, and notices anarchy signs on person b's shirt, knowing full well that person b is an avid supporter of Bush. If animals have to suffer for my icecream, then so be it! person b, realising he has shown his true colours looks at floor mumbling something about how we need calcium.
vegan dude: don't go around calling yourself an animal rights activist when you support such blatant animal abuse! walks off, his buff vegan muscles seen through his "go vegan!" shirt, people stare admiringly in his direction.
person b meanwhile begins convulsing on the floor suffering from a heart attack caused by one too many extra large dairy queen chocolate extravaganzas.
by Vegan! September 10, 2005

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