A grossly overweight and bitter young woman who finds a social outlet by becoming “Best Friends” with a much more attractive girl then manipulating and ultimately controlling her life to live through her.
Extremely hostile to most of her attractive friend’s friends and especially all of her boyfriends. Will interfere constantly with the view to splitting them up by any means necessary.
Will constantly “Feed” her victim until she’s approaching the same weight category and level of unattractiveness.
Dave: "She was alright, that bird
. You slipped up there, Jim."
Jim: "Wan't my fault, Dave. It was her fat friend sticking her oar in."
A small, pale young boy into Grunge and / or Metal. Typically unemployed or in some form of undemanding “Higher” education (some sort of extremely basic music course you don’t necessarily have to turn up to being the most popular).
Invariably lives with parents. May find “Work” as a hopelessly inept “Sound Engineer” at a dismal live music venue where he can rave about his mates’ extreme Death Metal bands and pour miserable scorn over any he doesn’t know.
Only travels by public transport to annoy the maximum amount of people with his ipod.
Alan: "I could barely hear your bass at that gig the other night, Jim."
Jim: "It was that useless little gribley they had doing the sound."
Typically found in the UK, yellowbacks are so named for their fluorescent or “High Visibility” jackets and can be seen “Working”, usually for a local council, on many, if not most, roads in the country holding up traffic whilst supposedly there to start digging it up at some point to make sure your taxes all get spent for the financial year.
Usually middle aged, bald (either naturally or by choice), heavily tattooed and overweight, yellowbacks like to smoke (invariably roll up’s), drink tea and shout- which is not usually necessary as their power tools will rarely be turned on.
Due to Health and safety legislation, it can take up to twenty yellowbacks to perform even the simplest of tasks such as turning round the “Stop” and “Go” signs or sitting in gritting lorries eating sausage rolls. Despite the unisex “Staff working at rear” warning signs on such vehicles, nobody has ever seen a female yellowback.
Bob: "Them roadworks have been going on every day for weeks!"
Phil: "It's the council's fault! They're too tight
to pay the yellowbacks night wages!"
Derived from low wattage light bulbs, a Low Watt is an exceptionally tight or miserly individual. Will never buy anything he can’t download, boil the kettle twice the same night or buy a round in the pub.
Never offers petrol money but will always be sure to collect it, goes out having “Forgotten” his wallet, expects family members to fix up his house and garden not just at a discounted rate, but completely free of charge.
Dave: "Tight bastard
still hasn't weighed in with the cash for that job we did, Stan."
Stan: "We won't get that. That low watt wouldn't give you the steam off his piss
Derived from the abbreviation for “Student Union”, an S.U. is a smug, overprivileged young man from a middle class background who attended a private school before whatever costly further education he is currently in.
The sort of person Radio 1 wish their listeners were (rather than 40 year old forklift drivers), he will be studying a subject that is either ridiculously easy or meaningless, will never have had a job and will be financially reliant on his parents, whom he has already cost an astronomical amount.
Dressed in “Surf” fashions), these Prince Harry lookalikes (there are a disproportionate amount of pale ginger ones) blight cities bleating at the top of their lungs at their idiotic flatmates, buying pints of cider on their discount cards before sicking them up over halls of residence balconies.
At some point, borrowing Mum and Dad’s BMW just isn’t enough anymore and said parents will have to cough up for a “Gap Year” (despite the 20 or so he’s had already) wherever he’s heard there are prostitutes and weed. He will return from the trip to loudly tell everybody “What a real eye opener” the poverty he saw there was, despite there being districts not much better off a couple of miles from his parents’ £300,000 semi. In the unlikely event of finishing university, the S.U. will most likely take up work in Subway or Burger King but in some cases will swap his Che Guevara hoodie for a suit and go to work for an oil company or the government.
Geoff: "How did your gig go the other night, Jim?"
Jim: "Terrible. It was a student bar. Just a crowd of up their own arse