6 definitions by Uncle Lance

Top Definition
1) A city in Central New Jersey, on the bank of the Delaware River. Similar to Camden, Newark and Irvington. Most parts are highly crime-ridden and burnt-out. The state capital of New Jersey.

2) A synonym for the corrupt, overspending, ineffective government of New Jersey, which is headquartered in the aforementioned city.
1) On my way to the statehouse, I got carjacked on Pennington Avenue in Trenton.

2) No one will be getting property tax rebate checks this year! The sales tax just went up. The state parks and DMV offices are closing. However, Trenton did manage to vote state workers a 7% pay raise. I'm moving to North Carolina!
by Uncle Lance July 07, 2009
Upper-Middle Class beach town about 5 miles north of Miami Beach. Nicer than Miami Beach, but not as rich as its neighbors, Bal Harbour and Golden Beach.

Also known as "Condo Beach" due the large number of high rise condos built on the beach, blocking the beach view of older homes.
Sunny Isles Beach was a nice town before they put in all those big ugly condo buildings. All those BMW-driving asshole yuppie New Yorkers are driving me nuts! I used to be able to see the beach from my house, now all I see is the service entrance to the 40-story condo building, and the sun doesn't shine on my house before 11AM.
by Uncle Lance April 26, 2009
Adjective added to make something sound new, trendy, or better when it's really just the same warmed-over crap.

Way overused these days, to the point of being corny.

Example: Smart Cars, Smart Timer, Smart investing, Smart menu
Marketing: Look, it's the new Smart Car.
Really: An engine on a cheap plastic chassis selling for 18K. More cheaply made than the 9K Chevrolet Aveo.

Marketing: This new Smart timer turns can turn your lights on when dark.
Really: Nothing more than a fancy light-sensor. They've been around for 50 years.

Marketing: ING direct is a smart way to invest your money.
Really: Just a bank CD. No smarter than any other bank CD. Only called "Smart" to mask the hidden fees.

Marketing: Behold the new Dunkin' Donuts Smart Menu.
Really: Formerly known as the low-fat menu. Now it's somehow "smart."
by Uncle Lance March 18, 2009
A crappy, overpriced, undersized apartment that real-estate agents market as trendy. Frequently located in a crappy ghetto and/or a contaminated former industrial building, facts that the real estate agent also downplays.
Real Estate Agent: Look at these new lofts, priced from $1500/month. They're in a vibrant new neighborhood in a historic landmark building.

Really: A 400 square foot walk-up apartment with a cheap coat of paint hiding the asbestos. Should rent for $500/month, but some sucker is willing to pay $1500. The neighborhood is almost never as nice as the brochures make it out to be.
by Uncle Lance March 19, 2009
A resident of Laughlin, NV or the surrounding area. Used to 115 degree weather every day, more than six months of the year. Usually works in a casino, is retired, or is a degenerate unemployed gambler.
East Coast Tourist: Hey, bartender..how do you stand living here all the time. It's hot as hell.

Bartender: I'm used to it. I'm a Laughlinite. When I go to hell, It'll be cooler.
by Uncle Lance July 20, 2008
A casino town on the Colorado River, on the Nevada side of the border with Arizona. Known for hot weather all-year-round. It's a poor man's version of Las Vegas. Sometimes called "Vegas' poor brother" or "Atlantic City of the Desert" due to its subpar casinos and run-down look
1) Let's go to Vegas. Shit, man, I ain't got much money. How about Laughlin, NV?

2) My un-air conditioned, $18/night room in Laughlin, Nevada is the closest place to hell on earth.

3) Atlantic City is not the Las Vegas of the East. Laughlin is the Atlantic City of the desert.
by Uncle Lance July 19, 2008

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