A charming and convivial man, roguishly handsome and very successful with the ladies. Sometimes referred to as "Anaconda" due to "de hefty langer" on him and yet his impressive dimensions are out-done by his Olympian prowess in the boudoir.
That chap who all the women want and all the men want to be is a proper Steve-O
Droopy Dawg's Dad. Dangerous man with the west coast cooler if he's in the form. The world's most annoying ManUre fan, also quite guff-tacular on the pitch until he runs out of puff and slips a disc in his back. After 4 minutes. Questionable head attire.
Cluey: Most likely to be heard saying, "I think I'll just have a white wine sptritzer, thanks"
Or "the Monk" due to his birds nest barnet which is currently defying all scientific reasoning with it's miraculous regrowth. This poor misguided City fan is sometimes partial to wine with his lunch, other times partial to Guinness with his lunch. Mostly, though, due to being barred from the local Chinese chippy, he skips lunch altogether and has wine with Guinness. Ruthless with the ladies and will often turn them down with reckless abandon (.....)
Lionel: Most likely to be heard saying, "Hold me back, hold me back" of a night out.
Tommy Cooper's older brother from Port St. Mary where the local pursuit is to race naked across a field. Hold's shortest record. Shortest appendage crossing the finishing line that is. Known to streak (well more of an amble at his age) through Dublin pubs and has an unhealthy fetish for small giraffes.
Catty: Most likely to be heard saying, "Has anyone got a loan of an iron?"
So called due to the penchant for West Ham FC he shares with the team's only other fan, Alfie Moon of Coronation Street (and even he's fictional!). Worse than his choice of football team is his dress sense, and will often be spotted with a dubious rugby shirt vacuum packed into his jeans. Makes a few pound on the side as Colin Montgomerie's stunt double.
Alfie: Most likely to be heard saying, "Begorrah, begorrah, t'be sure, t'be sure" <rolls eyes>