6 definitions by Twilight is my religion x3

Top Definition
Jacob Black can kick your grandmother's ass.
the Jacob ship will probably sink, but then we'll turn it into a submarine. long live Jake <333
Edward fan: LIKE OMG! I LOVE EDWARD! HE DAZZLES ME!
Me: Jacob Black could kick that white boy's ass.
by Twilight is my religion x3 March 23, 2008
a stupid slut who is way out of her league and doesn't deserve Jacob, even though she breaks his heart. i personally wish Victoria just slaughtered her.
Bella Swan needs to be killed by someone already.
by Twilight is my religion x3 March 23, 2008
something you threaten people with.
give me back the money you stole or i'll provoke the Volturi and blame YOU.
by Twilight is my religion x3 March 23, 2008
the most annoying motherfuckers in the world. people who JUST read Twilight a week or so ago and suddenly think they're the hardcorest fans ever.
newbie1: i just read twilight. I CLAIM JACOB BLACK TO BE MY HUSBAND. HES MINE!
longtime fan: actually, he is mine.
newbie1: NO!! i read the book first.
longtime fan: is that why i read Twilight after the first book hit the shelves and have been a huge fan ever since and i even MET stephenie, but you just read it a week ago?
newbie2: OHHMYGOD. i love Edward.
longtime fan: -sigh- twilight newbies should be shot in the face with a bazooka.
by Twilight is my religion x3 March 24, 2008
the state of mind one falls into after finishing a twilight book. the first twilight book is probably the strongest point of the haze.
long-time twilight fan: hey, is Megan done reading Twilight?
twilight fan 2: yeah! she finished it last night!
long-time twilight fan: oh! good! now we can talk about it with her!
twilight fan 2: not yet, man. shes still in the twilight haze. wait until she gets over the shock.
by Twilight is my religion x3 March 23, 2008
the murder of the amazing book Twilight.
twilight fan: i'm so pissed. robert pattison? kristen stewart? what the fuck? the twilight movie is gonna suck.
twilight fan 2: i know man. i'm about to kill myself by jumping off a cliff.
twilight fan: lets go irritate the Volturi.
twilight fan 2: lets.
by Twilight is my religion x3 March 23, 2008

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