M.I.N.F. is an acronym for Mothers I'd Never Fuck. This term is the polar opposite of M.I.L.F.
It describes a mother well past her prime who has NOT aged well, and yet tries to dress and act like a teenaged skank. A M.I.N.F. will throw her kids to the wayside for a chance at sex with younger attractive men that are way out of her league, though she can be pacified with booze, fake compliments, and compulsory groping. Young men should be forewarned that M.I.N.F.'s are akin to vampires. Once you invite them in, they will freely invade your space and can only be vanquished with a public denouncing and calling out in front of witnesses OR a stake rammed neatly between the saddlebags (taking care to avoid the extensive push up and out bra) to the heart.
Guy 1: UGH. I started flirting with this M.I.N.F at work and now she won't leave me ALONE. She keeps hanging around and telling people we have this "thing" going.
Guy 2: Dude, didn't you read the playa handbook? Never flirt with a M.I.N.F. That's like signing a contract with the devil. You always get more shit than you bargained for.
Guy 1: I KNOW! Bitch is all up in my face and business and cockblocking me at every turn. She's skantless
Guy 2: Bro I got stakes in my trunk. Let's end this.
A phrase derived from the song "Fuck me Pumps" recorded by Amy "Trainwreck" Winehouse.
"Fuck me pumpers" is an adjective for the person wearing the pumps. "Fuck me pumpers" have a tendency to seek out friendships with women 5-10 years younger than they are in order to hit on the guys that approach them. They come off friendly and inviting but that is just a ploy to reel a man in so they can agressively and wontonly pursue him, whether he is attracted to them or not. The more a man resists, the more aggressive and demanding they become.
"Fuck me pumpers" have a hard time taking no for an answer and should a man they have set their sights on cave and engage in ANY form of physical contact with them, be it "fooling around" or actual sex, you are considered their property and they will use any and all tactics in their arsenal to showcase their achievement with you as the trophy. They will assume authority over all aspects of your life and try to control and manipulate all of your personal and professional relationships. Should you later regret the association with a "fuck me pumper" and try to sever ties, she will turn on you in a heartbeat and use the same shady tactics she used to get you against you. She will use emotional blackmail, feigned emotions, and outright threats. Best thing to do when approached by a "fuck me pumper" is to break the wrist and walk away...don't even smile as they might take that as a sign of approval and acceptance. JUST.WALK.AWAY.
Guy 1: I'm thinking of fooling around with one of the "fuck me pumpers" at work. She's not all that hot, but she's all over my dick, and I like the attention right now.
Guy 2: DON'T DO IT! The last time I fooled around with a fuck me pumper she acted like we were engaged or something. She stalked all these girls that liked me, caused all kinds of drama, and I didn't even fuck her.
Guy 1: Whaaaaaaaaat???? You didn't even fuck her?
Guy 2: No dude. She wasn't THAT hot. I just fooled around with her a little, let her grab on my package and bitch went all Fatal Attraction on me and shit.
Guy 3: Yeah flip that. This girl ain't even a 5 outta 10. Thanks for the warning bro.