4 definitions by Tommy Harris

Top Definition
A woman in your office setting, typically in a admin/finance roll, who is under the assumption that she is the shit, despite glaring evidence to the contrary. Office Hags are typically identified by their outdated, brightly colored clothing, tennis shoes with panty hose and loud, shrill voice. Their habits include spreading gossip, making unfunny jokes and participating any any type of theme day the office might present to their employees (favorite sports team day, Hawaiian shirt day, etc.)
Hey Steve, check out that office hag's bright purple suit/mini skirt combo. At least the tennis shoes match the tights she's wearing this time. I'd like to step on her children's genitals.
by Tommy Harris February 13, 2008
The man smears hot mustard and Szechuan sauce on his "wang" and shoves it up his woman's chocolate star fish.
After eating a huge meal from PF Chang's, I like to give the little lady a Chinese Shrinky Dink for dessert.
by Tommy Harris August 24, 2006
To ejaculate into the orifice of a man or woman, then leave your penis in said orifice until the point where you are able to urinate. You then urinate into the afore mentioned orifice, after which your conquest contracts the orifice muscles and forces out the ejaculate and urine as if the contents were under pressure.
Holy hell, Dave gave me such a lemon cream pie the other night...I'm gonna have to have my parent's couch professionally steam cleaned.
by Tommy Harris March 12, 2008
To harvest the ear wax of your female partner, smear it under her eyes, then administer a chinese shrinky dink, which will cause her to cry, mixing her mascara with the ear wax, causing her to look like a panda. Then force feed her bamboo shoots.
On my wedding night, i plan on giving my new bride a panda hole.
by Tommy Harris August 24, 2006

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