2 definitions by Tom O' Bedlam

Top Definition
(trodʒən|s fajər ænd ajs kɑndəmz )- n.

1. A product of the Trojan company. It is a condom created from a partnership between Church & Dwight Company, Incorporated and Sanofi S.A.to combine two of their greatest assets together, the Trojan Condom, and the IcyHot cream and patch, to, apperantly, relieve erectile pains while engaging in sexual intercourse. It has been so successful, it recieved the coveted two and a half stars on Amazon, and a host of bloggers who, between bragging about their sexual prowess, gave it such glowing reviews as "traumatising", "horrifying", "like lubing your dick with IcyHot" (not a completely inaccurate discription), "nightmarish", etc.

2. Buffoon, a Cretin, one who is considered to be unusally dull, lacking in brillance or intellect.

(etmy. 1. From the individual componets 2. Translated literally from the Irish 'Go mbeire an diabhal leis thú', proverbially meaning one who does stupid things repeatedly)
1. Oh God, my dick, it feels like...oh God, please stop the pain...I shall take a vow of chasity after this... God I shall never buy Trojan's Fire and Ice Condoms again!

2. He is such a Trojan's Fire and Ice Condom
by Tom O' Bedlam September 24, 2011
A method of movement based upon the principles of both efficiency and speed. Originally developed by the criminal classes of France to escape the French police, it has since spread to all layer of France due to the versitility of its utility, from the typical French Adulterers (read 98% of the nation's male population) escaping the Adulteress' heavily armed husband, to the President escaping the lynch mob after his eighty-eighth attempt to sacrifice what little money and national dignity France has to save the dying European Union, and is, indeed, slowly reaching out to the international community of netizen mainly interested in 'cool-balls-awesomeness' rather than acutal 'utility'.
Gent. 1- Parkour- is that not this new French method of Running?

Gent. 2- Indeed it is sir, and very fine method of escape, if thou wouldst permit me to say thus.

Gent. 1- 'Tis genius, sir, but fitting, for who but the French should invent the best method of retreating.
The Two Europhobic Gentlemen of Devon- John Fletcher (1621)
by Tom O' Bedlam September 04, 2011

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