YOUR GIRLFRIEND/WIFE AND YOU WILL MAKE LOVE 26.22 TIMES IN ONE NIGHT. THAT’S ROUGHLY 3.3 TIMES PER HOUR, FOR 8-HOURS… THAT WAY, IF YOU GO TO BED AT 10 PM, YOU CAN FINISH AND YET STILL GET ENOUGH SLEEP TO BE PRODUCTIVE THE NEXT-DAY (PREFERABLY A SATURDAY OR SUNDAY). HOORAY! HOWEVER, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED A MINI-FRIDGE, TWO-PLASTIC GLASSES, FOUR-ENERGY DRINKS, SIX-BOTTLED WATERS, THREE-GALLONS OF ORANGE JUICE, 10-MINI BOTTLES OF KY (SUFFICIENT LUBE), AND 2-3 SUB-PAR MOVIES; BECAUSE IF THEY PROVE TOO INTERESTING, YOU AND/OR YOUR LOVER COULD POSSIBLY GET SIDE-TRACKED, COSTING YOU PRECIOUS TIME. THIS TIME SHALL BE CALLED, “MARATHON”.
"Tina and I will hopefully entertain thoughts of "Marathon" tonight. I accidentally left my seeing glasses at the office during lunch and ingested 4-Viagra pills by mistake. Things aren't looking good down below. So I figure I will mention it at dinner and see how she takes to the idea."