The common "cold-like" symptoms you aquire after waking up next to a random girl & later finding out you went down on her after your black out.
This is not in fact, a cold, it is muff disease.
ex. Make sure you wash it out first or you'll get muff disease.
ex. Jared spread the muff disease to all his friends, much like the spreading of the legs of the girl the muff disease came from