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9 definitions by Thomas Frick

 
1.
Rubbing one's penis vigorously back and forth in an ass crack, while not actually inserting it in the anus. Also known as the asstric bypass.
She was on her period and her butthole smelled, so I just did the old Appalachian Mundungus.
by Thomas Frick March 24, 2008
 
2.
Someone who, upon becoming intoxicated, attempts (poorly) to sing along to every song that plays around them.
I'm trying to actually listen to this song, but all these Tequila Mockingbirds are too damn loud.
by Thomas Frick March 27, 2008
 
3.
When a man has his testicles in someone's mouth and they do an impression of Macho Man Randy Savage's voice saying "oh yeah," or other phrases. The sheer ridiculousness of the voice causes a vibrating sensation on the testes.
What did your mom pack in your lunchbox? Cause she gave me a Randy Savage Sack Lunch last night.
by Thomas Frick March 24, 2008
 
4.
When a man ejaculates all over someone's face, and then lets the semen dry. Over time it becomes solid, and then is pulled off as a mask.
"What are you gonna be for Halloween? " "I don't know, but if you're lucky you can get the haunted mask!"
by Thomas Frick March 24, 2008
 
5.
Jerking off a man with one hand and fingering his butthole with the other while simultaneously nibbling on the gooch like it is corn.
My three most tender spots get stimulated when I get a Gooch on the Cob.
by Thomas Frick March 26, 2008
 
6.
The rapid thrusting of a penis through the buttcrack while avoiding penetration; like a hotdog sliding in and out of a bun. See also Appalachian Mundungus
The Asstric Bypass is a good compromise because I love the booty, but she doesn't want to do anal.
by Thomas Frick March 26, 2008
 
7.
The act of yelling into someone's anal cavity.
The Cardovian Conclave doesn't really give me any physical pleasure, but I like the thought of someone yelling at my brown eye.
by Thomas Frick March 24, 2008