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5 definitions by ThisKevin

 
1.
A big Chinese city on the East Coast, next to the Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces.

Shanghai is famous for being a word which means kidnapping.
It is also famous for having mainland China's most expensive taxis and whores, lots of bars and many many tall buildings.

The traditional food in Shanghai is oily and sweet, and many people say it tastes like dog shit. Luckily there are many great restaurants featuring food from other places.

Shanghai people are notorious for being rude and Shanghai men also have a reputation for being a bit girly. At a push the average Shanghai guy weighs in at about 48kg which makes it a great place to go for a fight! Watch out though, a recent scrap outside the Guangdi nightclub saw quite a few Western folks outnumbered and running with their tail between their legs. Better luck next time eh!

Shanghai is definitely the most happening city in China at the moment, with an emerging live music scene, lots of parties and concerts and a promising outlook on the property front.
Moron: Hey I'm going to Taipei!
Everyone else: Really, I hear that Taipei is a slurry ridden shit pit for people who can't hack the pace of Shanghai city life...
Moron: Yeah that's right, you've been there?
Everyone else: No fear! I wouldn't touch Taipei with a pointed stick.
by thiskevin October 02, 2006
 
2.
1)Mandarin Chinese: Fuck off - literally, to roll away.
2)Something to tell your friends to say to local people when visiting Mainland China.
3)Something I would write on people if I were a Tattoo artist

Pronounced gwun kai in the third and first tone respectively - with the "ai" in kai pronounced the same as the English "eye"
1)
Street seller: Would like to by watch, I have many watch bag shoes!
Tourist: Gunkai!
2)
Friend1:How do you say excuse me in Chinese in the most polite way possible?
Friend2:It's "Gunkai", and the louder you say it the more polite it is - that's a normal language habit in Chinese
3)
Tatoo artist: Can I reccommend this asian symbol?
Customer: What does it mean?
Tattoo Artist: Peace and love and harmony.
by ThisKevin July 24, 2006
 
3.
N. A combination of "snack" and "tactics"
Any strategy employed in order to discreetly sneak a clandestine drink during a class, lecture, board meeting or other function where alcoholic drink is not allowed or not available.

A common snacktic involves threading a thin plastic tube via one's sleeve into a hip flask containing a spirit, or other alcoholic beverage.

The term "having a snack" is very popular in universities, where students rely on good snacktics in order to fuel their appetite during lectures, in preparation for a solid evening's drinking in their local.
Malcom's poor snacktics have landed him in detention three times this week.
by thiskevin December 22, 2006
 
4.
Taipei is the capital of Taiwan, a sort of noman's land between actually being China and kind of not being China.

If the president of Taiwan is still alive by the time this gets published he would probably say that Taipei is a great city. Unfortunately he'll probably be shot by an rival politician in the next hour or so, so leave it to me to say that Taipei is just nowhere compared to Shanghai.
Someone: I hear that Taipei is nice this time of year...
Someone else: Naah it's crap.
by thiskevin October 02, 2006
 
5.
A great big country full of Chinese people!

"China, like many other countries could take a fairly decent swipe at the USA, not by attacking it with bombs and guns, but by sending it the bank ballance."

"Having amassed foreign currency approaching the trillion mark, and forcing down the value of it's currency by pegging it to *snigger* the dollar, it has been able to strategically develop a fund, which will sustain its economy if the sniveling twats in charge of US fiscal overseas policy ever succeed in begging the WTO to make China raise the price of it's currency."

China's sole aim in doing all this is to give me something with which to slap abnoxious Americans, so I can jack myself off while watching them bridle in an effort to make some matcho agressive response.
Me: China is "insert made up facts here" because "insert more made up facts here"

American: Yeah but, "insert long winded shale of humorous antagonised patriotism here"

Me: Well China "insert more made up stuff here"

et cetera... ad nauseam...
by thiskevin October 02, 2006