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4 definitions by Thevoiceof

 
1.
Man kind's largest step backwards in many years, and risks the almost total disolvement of Darwin's theory. A chav is usually a person between the ages of 8 and 28, appears/pretends/tries to be iliterate and though cowardness/ignorance/stupidity tries as hard as possible to fit in, even to the extent of buying/stealing/being handed to by taxpayers the most unattractive collection of casual sports wear and cheap jewellry possible. The rule is "the more you can wear the better" so combinations such as crappy Nike cap AND a hoodie make you an alpha-chav/geezer/waste of good DNA.

They generally refuse to contribute to society/evolution and infact do their best to absorb their funds from "snobs" (chav dialect for those who work for a living) through refusing to get out of bed before noon, unless they are 110% sure they can steal enough to buy 8 cans of Stella/Lucozade/Alco-pops before lunch.

Chavs travel in packs for protecion/appearance/because no body loves them, and should generally be avoided. If you can't avoid them the law does state you can mame them (this may need checking).

A chav-mobile will generally be on its 18th user, Vauxhall and look like it drove past Halfords (chav-mecca) with a very strong magnet attached. In recent years Vauxhall did employ the chav-designer superstar called "irmscher", who has started making more upmoddel kits for 'semi-chavs'. These are usually black 1.0/1.2/1.4 Corsa's with split exhausts and blacked out windows (because the occupants are usually concious that thay may be chavs, but aren't 110% sure).

The mating call of the chav sounds like "Oi!" and can usually lead to getting a drunk chavette pregnant before you can say "Jerremy Kyle". However, once impregnation has been completed, the male will usually call here a slag, or, beat her so she now has 2 black eyes/teeth/brain cells.

Scientists predict that if a nation-wide cull is not started soon, by the year 2200 most of the population of Britain will be tagged/on an ASBO/under the rule of evil space monkeys due to the influx of chavs/pikeys/bingo orphans.
chav, hoodie, pikey, scum, bastards
by Thevoiceof March 16, 2008
12 2
 
2.
She who sleeps alone whilst her male partner sits infront of his Xbox/Xbox360 playing Forza Motorsport until the early hours.
Mourner: "I'm sorry for your loss, did he go quickly?"

Forza widow: "Too right - he did the Nurburg ring in 8:51!"
by Thevoiceof March 16, 2008
8 1
 
3.
Patented sex move (G.Robinson 2003).

A male/female takes two thumbs and inserts them simultaneously in the front and back bum of a female whilst saying "Hey!"
Fonze giver: "Hey!"

Fonze taker: "Aarrgghh!"
by Thevoiceof March 16, 2008
7 5
 
4.
Description of a vagina that has a large amount of white discharge attached, particularly around the most exposed areas.

Named as such due to it having an appearance similar to bacon rind
"Urgh, that lass I wen't home with last night must have had 3 pounds of bacon rind in her knickers. Made me pull a nine-volter"
by Thevoiceof March 16, 2008
5 14