1 definition by TheUD at IFunny
Black Friday - The day %75 of retail workers want to murder themselves. As they look at the clock that says 11:55 P.M. They're nervous because they're about to face the time when 3,000 stupid mother fuckers come in trampling one another for pointless half price bullshit like a fucking like a toothbrush. Half of these disgusting fat fucks smell like Satans shit pit, on they're way to buy some deodorant that you can obviously tell they hadn't wore for 8 fucking years. Of course, you also have India's population full of fucking retards waiting out side of Best buy and GameStop to get a video game $25 off, or the greatest ever taller and 1mm thinner newest fucking IPhone in which they'll either crack the screen, leave it in their pants when they put it in the washer, get some virus by watching a fuck ton of porn, or Apple will just make a new taller and thinner "Cutting technology" iPhone in another 3 months. So they chunk the one they murdered a pregnant lady and 4 small children to get off a cliff and buy the new one for $1500. All of this happens ironically after the day we admitting that we are thankful for everything we have.
*BREAKING NEWS* a 76 year old lady was killed on Black Friday by a 32 year old man while arguing over who gets the last (insert useless item)"
by TheUD at IFunny November 26, 2014