A place in the Guantanamo Bay U.S. Naval Base in Cuba where Islamic terrorist go to be pampered in relative luxury (relative from where they came that is)
Guests are given a Free Koran and prayer rug upon arrival.
Amenities include three professionaly prepared meals a day, opertunities to pray to allah five times a day and a warm bed.
Rack rates are reasonable as they only require your cooperation in questioning. Failure to cooperate will not get you kicked out though... The most they will do will turn off the air conditioning (or leave it on) but it's not as bad as getting your head cut off with a dul knife while you're still awake!
I was in afganistan shooting at those marines, I got caught and they sent me to Club Gitmo... Man am I relaxed now, I think I'll get captured again!!!