3 definitions by The Real Egon Spengler

When you attempt to facepalm yourself in an intensely sarcastic fashion, but miss your face.
Pam, did you see that? Lana tried to facepalm herself, but missed.

*falsetto* FACEPLAM.

Seriously, how can you miss your own face, with hands as huge as that.
by The Real Egon Spengler September 4, 2014
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The standard unit of squee, that is, a measure of the amount of squee an object or creature can generate. For example, a cute cartoon about kittens would measure 278 millisqueet, or 0.278 squeet. The cutest kitten photo imaginable would rate 4.8 squeet, the TEL (threshold exposure limit) before irrational gibbering will commence. A cute kitten animated gif might actually rate 0.8 or more megasqueet, resulting in a total loss of self-control (and possible bladder and/or bowel control.)
Male: "Apparently, they're remaking My Little Pony, but instead of ponies, they're kitten-ponies."
Female: "SQUEEEE! OHMYGODTHAT'SSOAWESOME! ICAN'TBELIEVETHEY'REDOINGTHIS OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD..."
Male: (checking meter) 17.1 squeets. We'd best get the restraints out now.
by The Real Egon Spengler April 18, 2014
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(n. pl.) - When speaking in public, you experience a sudden coughing fit - but you try to talk your way through it, leading the audience to possibly hear something you didn't actually say.
Cough Derps in action:

What you said: "And so, you can see that *cough* 'is *choke* 's *hack* 'very *chork*"

What you thought you said: "And so, you can see that this rare situation occurs in every byte."

What the audience heard: "And so, you can see that his rate of masturbation is very high."
by The Real Egon Spengler October 5, 2013
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