Variations include: Humphrey
, Hambone, clumsy dog, that
dog puppet, glue i need
1) An excessively clumsy person. A bad luck magnet. Often, but not always, a person who does not follow simple common
advice then ends up getting hurt, breaking something, and usually both.
2) A friend or acquaintance that
seems to always need
help or money. A loser that
for some reason
you keep helping out.
3) Someone who keep borrowing
your things, does not return them, and when you finally get the item back it has been ruined.
4) A leech. Someone who cannot or does not want to take
care of themselves so they keep screwing up. Often a grown up child that
needs mom to pay their debts, or a girlfriend that
"can't seem to balance a checkbook". A selfish
Hambone was a dog puppet created by news anchor Pat McCormick
for his one-minute public service announcements on KGO-TV and KTVU-TV. Most of them consisted of Humphrey
doing something stupid and Charley Horse
(his friend, another puppet) turning
to the camera and making a pithy statement about what Humphrey
is best remembered as the clumsy dog that yells
out "Glue, I need
breaking an antique lamp that
he did not have permission
to use (Charlie famously yells
out "You're going to need
lots of glue.").
"Humphrey: I said I borrowed it without asking
. Worry wart.
*big sneeze* *big crash*
Glue, I need
"Stoner 1: I can't get this Tupperware
open. I need something
to pry it open with. *picks up a glass pipe*
Stoner 2: Give
me that! I am not going to let you Humphrey my $50 glass pipe on a $2 bowl of Cheetos. *hands him a knife*"
"Chump: It's 2 in the morning, and I have to work tomorrow. Why are you calling me?!
Stoner 2: Can you drive us to the Hospital? Humphrey Hambone
here just accidently stabbed himself with a kitchen knife.
Chump: Why can't you drive
Stoner 2: I can't drive
right now. I was trying
to use crazy glue to close the wound, but I ended
up gluing my hands together.
Chump: Clumsy dog
. Alright, but this is the last time I bale you guys out."
"Chump: Shit, why are the cops pulling
me over? I just mailed out my registration.
2: Oh, I forgot
to tell you, I ran over the mailbox and none
of the mail
1: Should I ditch the bloody knife?
Chump: You, Hambone
! Why the hell did you bring that with
Stoner 2: So we could
explain to the doctor why we didn't use this glass
Police loudspeaker: PULL OVER YOUR VEHICLE NOW!
Chump: Oh, shit! You guys seem to have
to Myass touch
Stoner 2: Not anymore. I remembered to wash
my hands before trying to glue his wound