4 definitions by The Hideous Damsel

Top Definition
A small white fluffy dog, apparently selectively bred to present this appearance since Roman times. They were perfectly good wolves before that. Their hair never sheds or stops growing, which means that they can become a hideous walking dreadlock in the blink of an eye. Often inbred to the extent that they need all of their rotten teeth pulled out by a vet before the age of six, it is debatable whether the Maltese is capable of learning discipline. They are given to ceaseless yapping, wissing on rugs and biting (with aforementioned rotten teeth- they have hellbreath) and are never reprimanded for such crimes by their fat, matronly, indulgent owners who need something totally dependent on them to cuddle because their beloved son has rebelled and moved out of home to become a skinhead.
Nurse: Oh, great. Another five cages full of Maltese Terriers today. Total dental removals, or all-over body shaves?
Vet: Both. Get the gas....
by The Hideous Damsel January 02, 2006

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Someone who probably likes animals, enjoys their company and wants to protect them from stupidity, and if they don't already seriously dislike humans will learn very swiftly to do so. They have no fear of poo, wee, pus, flying dogs' nuts or serious maulings. They generally avoid aspiring to veterinarianship because they realise that it mainly involves desexing things, killing things, curing things that shouldn't be cured, trying to artificially rectify genetic problems that never would have occured but for man's arrogance, and peddling worm tablets; most of it is for the owner and the pharmaceutical companies, but not the pet. Fifi is old and wants to die now. Stop force-feeding her and sticking I.V.'s in her, you selfish human cunt. You obviously have serious issues with your own mortality. Fuck off and think about it while I go hang in the comparative sanity of the kennel room with the dogs and cats.
The vet nurse trotted obediently but sadly out to the freezer with a giant infected akita uterus, a dead dobermann and a flyblown guinea-pig.
by The Hideous Damsel January 03, 2006

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Mephistophelean stench: charnel-house breeze, wolverine sphincter zephyr, mutant swamp gas all rolled into one, which very sadly comes from the mouth of one who does not practice optimum oral hygiene. Can remove paint, eyebrows and developing love affairs at twenty paces. Sleep, coffee, booze and kimchi-related variants are common.
A canary in a cage suspended from one's forehead is an accurate and reliable indicator for hellbreath. When the canary begins to retch and gag, brush your teeth, numbnut.
by The Hideous Damsel January 02, 2006

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skinhead was indeed a working class youth movement, born from hard mod and influenced by jamaican music which was born, and as far as many are concerned, died, in the late Sixties. As in every subculture, its adherents fetishised the sameness of their "difference", underlined this attitude by wearing a strict uniform, detailed exhaustively in other posts, and by adopting a very limited lifestyle and mindset- commonly xenophobic and espousing violence in the absence of an ability to THINK AND ACT INDIVIDUALLY OR WITH INTELLIGENCE. The very particular set of social circumstances which led to the birth of skinhead, or mod, or any of those retro boys' clubs, are gone now, but dense, insecure, defensive, uneducated spoiled lazy kids with chips on their shoulders who claim to be "working class" do love to dress up and look scary, don't they? Drinking massive quantities of lager goes a long way to drowning the niggling fear that they're all just try-hard wannabe losers who would sooner punch someone's teeth in than reason things out, and drunkenness gives them a great excuse to do this. Combing one's hair is just too much like hard work and requires too much imagination, so they shave it all off. Though the whole hyper-macho scene is blatantly homoerotic, skinheads tend to attract sad fat girls, it's true, with no self-esteem who secretly want to rescue them. Good luck, ladies.
Skinheads are cranky and defensive all the time because deep down, they realise that they are worthless and that nobody likes them. (We all go through that stage, but normal people grow up). They tend to blame blacks, gays, jews, tories...well, anyone else but themselves for this state of affairs. Their friendships and associations are based on beer, mutual assent to brutality and a "skinhead code", and, thusly, do not qualify as true friendships at all. No wonder they're crabby, chauvinist twats.
That skinhead killed his mum's Maltese Terrier because she refused to iron his braces for him.
by The Hideous Damsel January 02, 2006

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