15 definitions by The Handy Writer

To make an idea or task so simple that even a chimpanzee could comprehend or complete something. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“It’s widely known that Cheney had to chimplify W’s daily presidential briefings; in other words, a Texas monkey couldn’t misunderstand ‘em”.
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
To hack off choice bits of one or more existing items and then attach them to a new project, thereby bending them to suit your own requirements (diabolic or not). No gothic castles, fortuitously-timed electrical storms or god complexes required for this kind of assembly. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
"To build your own awesome and inexpensive jib boom, you’ll need to frankenstein parts from an existing tripod and an L-bracket. With mad skills, all things are possible."
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Any of a number of techniques known to only a scarce few (in some instances, just The Handyman) that will simplify any given task whilst working on projects in the Shop. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Adoring Fan: “Oh, Handyman, how did you become so incredibly knowledgeable in the handy arts?”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
Testicles. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“These overalls make my fugnuggets feel pinchy.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
A minor inconvenience. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“Oops. Just spilt some coffee on my copy of the morning memo. I guess that’s the first straw.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

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