13 definitions by The Earl of Teabag

Top Definition
The act of wrapping an erect penis in a tortilla (flour or corn), then filling the tortilla with meat, rice, salsa, and other assorted ingredients. This contraption will then be used as a contraceptive while the man practices intercourse. The friction will result in the burrito cooking to a tasty, edible state. Bonus points are awarded to folks who use raw beef and successfully cook it to a medium or medium-well state.

A member of the Holy Toledo Trinity, along with the "Toledo Mosquito" and the "Toledo Funguito".
"I had the ingredients lying around, so I was like, 'Hey, Becky, do you want a Toledo Burrito?' and she was all, 'Yeah, I guess.' So I had sex with her with a burrito on my penis."
by The Earl of Teabag August 30, 2006
When a teenage girl who baby-sits talks to everyone as if they’re 8 years old and is always in a falsely chipper mood.
“You saw a movie last weekend?! That’s awesome! How was it?!”

“You know what, Becky? Legitimate question: Why are we friends? This babysitter syndrome is pissing everyone off. Honestly, what do you bring to the table?”
by The Earl of Teabag September 14, 2007
1. The act of a man not washing his penis for two years. He can accomplish this by covering his genetalia with a shower cap when he bathes, leaving a condom or balloon on his penis at all times, or by just skipping washing himself altogether. Once his penis is especially filthy and overgrown with mushrooms and other molds, and his pubics an enchanted forest full of woodland creatures, he will have unpretected intercourse with a lady. If all goes well, the animals populating his pubic region will leap onto the fur of the man's partner, thus spreading the fun and the funguito to as many people as possible.

2. The act of a man collecting his semen in a bowl or other dish for several months. Once he has a good amount built up (2 cups or so), he will leave it in a damp, warm, dark area for upwards of two years. When he uncovers his treat, it should have a thick, green, mossy coating on the top. He will then scoop as much of his fungusy prize as he can into his dominant hand, spring on an unsuspecting lady, and throw it into her welcoming face. If he chooses, he is welcome to say something victorious along the lines of, "You've been Funguitoed!" to the victim.

A member of the "Holy Toledo Trinity", along with the "Toledo Burrito" and the "Toledo Mosquito".
"Did you hear about Terry? He pulled off a Toledo Funguito this weekend. Apparently he's been jerking off into a bowl and wearing a shower cap over his penis for, like, two years."

by The Earl of Teabag August 26, 2006
The act of dipping ones scrotum and remaining genetalia into their own feces, like Dairy Queen dips cones into chocolate sauce. The now butt-sludge encased package enters the mouth of an unsuspecting victim and procedes with an in-and-out motion, gently scraping the teeth.
"Last night Shellie was back-talking me so I waited for her to go to sleep and straight up DQ'ed her."
by The Earl of Teabag April 09, 2005
A diseased person who takes pleasure in spreading his Sexually Transmitted Delights to as many people as possible while on his waterbed.

A member of the Holy Toledo Trinity, along with the "Toledo Burrito" and the "Toledo Funguito".
"Man, did you hear about Terry? That guy is a total Toledo Mosquito. His bedroom is practically a lagoon."
by The Earl of Teabag August 27, 2006
Eating a combination of ground beef (or seasoned grilled chicken), cheese, lettuce, and tomato (with additional dressings and sauces to be used as needed) out of the crack of another's anus.
We were all out of shells last night, but had all the other ingredients ready. I didn't want to ruin Billy's second fiesta, so we just ate butt tacos out of Melinda.
by The Earl of Teabag July 03, 2006
A divine group of three terms, all based around the city of Toledo, Ohio. This location was chosed due to the popularity of other Ohio-based terms Cleveland Steamer and Cincinatti Bowtie. The Trinity is comprised of:

The Toledo Mosquito
The Toledo Burrito
The Toledo Funguito
Jim successfully made a 4,500 mile pilgrimage to Ohio in order to be in the city of his religion. He spent 29 days worshipping the town of Toledo and The Holy Toledo Trinity. He wept when he saw a live performance of the Toledo Burrito.
by The Earl of Teabag August 28, 2006

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