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2 definitions by The Double Bass Adonis

 
1.
An antiseptic cream, which doesn't actually exist, specifically for the purpose of applying to enflamed, grazed, chafed, cut or swollen nipples.
By the end of the marathon, Morticia's nipples were so swollen and red-raw, having just had a sweaty running shirt chafing them for a good 4 hours or more, that she applied a whole tube of titty cream to both of them.
by The Double Bass Adonis August 16, 2012
 
2.
An unwashed pair of old ladies' knickers which have been worn for so long without changing them, they develop a layer of crust on the inside.
Edith struggled for half-an-hour or more to peel off her stinking crusty bloomers from around her mid-riff.

"That was worse than peeling gaffer tape off a foam mattress", she remarked.
by The Double Bass Adonis August 16, 2012