particular to the British Isles, although derived chiefly
from the gangsta rap
culture of the inner cities of America. Townies are often seen in, as the name suggests, the town centre of any settlement, walking with a distinct bobbing movement akin to that of someone wearing
heavy backpack. They
have a tendency
to clothe themselves in unnecessarily
large olive-green parkas, tracksuits and plastic baseball caps. This is not dissimilar
to a peacock's plumage, with the notable distinction that the peacock's tail feathers are a thing of beauty and make
the male bird more
attractive to the opposite sex.
On the subject of the opposite sex, it is often possible to observe the phenomenon of the "girl towny". This female
variety is not dissimilar
to the male variety, except that even more
white clothing is worn, in stark contrast to the often orange war-paint
worn caked over
the faces of female
townies. This serves to obliterate the feaures of the "girl townies" and cleverly hide
the fact that the male and female
of the species are almost indistinguishable
without aids to appearance.
Interpersonal relationships among their own groups are often primitive, centred around
cheap sexual conquests and who is going to "batter" who. The two are often linked.
The activities displayed by townies often serve to demonstrate a deep-seated aggression, often causing behaviour associated with extreme
aggressiveness and violence. This includes a tendency
towards a non-towny in the street
and "start on" them, at the same time
accusing the aforementioned non-towny of doing
to them. This is often accompanied by swearing, usually "Come on then, you f**king c**t!" or similar aggressive twaddle.
Townies generally have no knowledge of how their sub-culture
started, as despite their apparent embracing of black culture, they
are usually more
likely to take part
in a racist assault than
normal people like you or I. In fact, any group
assault is likely to have townies at the root of the problem.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my definition. If any more
evidence/information is required, feel free
to watch Crimewatch UK and look
at the CCTV
footage of street
violence. I think
you'll be pleasantly surprised. Seriously, do it.