'Qualifications' which are only good in proving that you are a cunt. Word derived from Certificate and Cunt, obviously.
Billy: Dad! Dad, I got that GNVQ in Bussiness Studies, that I spent the last two years trying to obtain
Billie's Sickened Father: Right. Shall I put it up on the wall with the half GCSE in Plantology, or next to your degree in Internet Reuters and Their Signals? Yet another cuntificate you've come home with. Boy, I'm dissapointed in you.
Wanker: Because I'm stressed out, I just saw a picture of Jessica Alba, I have an errection, there's an erotic song playing, I'm feeling horny, I haven't had a wank in three days, I haven't got much else to do, no one else is in the house excpet you (why are you still here by the way?!), and I would like to relax and feel wanking is the best option for this
Inquisitive man: So you want to wank for NINE different reasons?
Wanker: Oh and I lost my keys so I want a wank
(Interuption)Conclusive man: You're having a tenfold bash!!
Wanker: Am I? I thought a tenfold bash was wanking ten times in one day?
Conclusive man: No, no. That's defintion one of the same term, the secondary definiton is to wank for ten different reasons, as in Wanker's case today.