3 definitions by The Chuckle Monster

Top Definition
An acronym for the expression, (T)hat's (W)hat (I) (F)ucking (T)hought. Pronounced 'teewift'. Commonly verbalized in a hostile manner to express dominance, after one does whatever the speaker expects or desires.
Frank: Yo Jimmy, wanna get eats?
Jimmy: Gee Willikers! I would love to tag along, but first let me change my clothes.
Frank: Huh?
Jimmy: You see Frank, I like to wear tight clothing because it makes me look big. Don't tell anyone, but it's really just an optical illusion.
Frank: Jimmy you're absolutely right, go ahead and change. I'd rather look like a douchebag than a pussy, too!
Both: Hahaha...
Dave: Oh, you guys are leaving for the Pub? I'll go with you.
Frank: Ummmm, did either of us invite you Dave?
Dave: Do I have to be invited to go out to eat?
Frank: Hey Dave, how about you answer my fucking question before you bring up another one. You gotta listen Dave...pay fucking attention to the words that come out of my mouth!
Dave: ...I wasn't invited.......fuck you Frank! You're always such a dick to me, and I never do anything to deserve it.
Frank: Actually Dave, I'm just keeping it real. When you fucking come at me, spitting fucking inquiries in my face, I'm not gonna back down.
Dave: You know what, fuck this! I don't even want to argue with you anymore.
Frank: Fucking t-wift bitch, walk away!
by The Chuckle Monster May 08, 2009

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1. A theoretical state of being or ability in which one is able to concentrate and focus on a particular subject so intensely, ultimately becoming oblivious to everything else around.
2. Believed to be attained most often in people with ADD or ADHD.
3. Arguably a myth spread around the world by the mother's of children with ADD and ADHD, for the reason of making their children feel special.
Jimmy: Hey Jay-boy, did you happen to catch last night's episode of Ugly Betty?
Jay: First off, never call me 'Jay-boy' again or I'll whoop the fucking shit out of you. Second, only fucking forty year old women and fags watch that show.
Jimmy: Oh, well that was quite rude...
Dave: Hey guys, what are you up to?
Jay: Nothing much, you?
Dave: Well, I just finished with scuba diving class, and I got the nickname Addy. You know, because I have ADHD and take Adderall.
Jimmy: Affirmative.
Jay: I personally would have given you the nickname 'realistic' or 'trustworthy' because you're always believable and never stretch the truth...
Dave: Yea you're right, I do have great morals. Have I ever mentioned to you guys that I can hyperfocus?
Jimmy & Jay: ......
Dave: Well basically I can utilize and focus my energies on stuff, so I can become really, really focused on something.
Jay: No shit, I can concentrate really hard too.
Dave: No, you don't see. Hyperfocus has made me significantly better at baseball, art, and somewhat in music.
Jay: Dave, you don't even play baseball?
Dave: ...That's right, but If I would have played from an early age I would have been really good.
Jay: Uh huh...and Jimmy would be straight if he wasn't raped when he was 5.
Jimmy: He's right, I would be.
Jimmy & Jay: Hahaha...
Dave: You guys never take me seriously...you can even ask my Mom about it. She knows a lot more than I do.
Jay: Yo Jimmy, maybe Dave's Mom fucked superman.
Jimmy: ...Ohhhh, so that's why he has superpowers!
Jay: Jimmy, you know that was a joke?
Jimmy: Oh...I know...a joke...
Dave: What the fuck? You guys are assholes.
Jay: What the fuck, right back at you bitch. Dave you are the lying asshole. You fucking step foot in my room and claim that you have a 'super power', when it's actually just the 40mg of amphetamine salts in fucking Adderall and the bias from your Mom that enables you to feel as if you can actually 'hyperfocus'.
Dave: ....................
Jay: T-wift!
Jimmy: So he doesn't have super powers?
by The Chuckle Monster May 09, 2009

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A verbal expression denoting that fate cannot be changed.



"Hey Mike did you sleep with that Lauren chick?"

"Yeah, Why?"

"You know she has herpes, right?"

"No way, Goddamn-it! I knew some-shit like this..."

"Haha! Deal. You really dealt. Let me take this time to chuckle to myself because you probably will be dealing for the rest of your insignificant fucking life with disfigured genitalia. Why don't you call the fucking whambulance while your at it you fucking douche? Do you smell that?"

"Huh?"

"It smells like pussy, fuck-face. And you know what, I don't give a flying fuck what the fuck happens to you because your a flat out utter cunt. Deal bitch!"

"Thanks for the support, bro."
by The Chuckle Monster October 27, 2008

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