6 definitions by The phantom tanner
A cherished New Zealand custom, almost as old as time itself, where a child is produced out of seemingly thin air to further strain the welfare system.
Those close to the Hori couple in question, are left in darkness as the duration of the gestational period is kept remarkably below the radar, regardless of social outings or day to day interactions
To the surprise of all, a fully haired spawn is seemingly cannoned into the picture, devoid of any recollection of a pregnancy period or announcement.
Where once was a trendy couple, now stands a proverbial pop-tart family.
Those close to the Hori couple in question, are left in darkness as the duration of the gestational period is kept remarkably below the radar, regardless of social outings or day to day interactions
To the surprise of all, a fully haired spawn is seemingly cannoned into the picture, devoid of any recollection of a pregnancy period or announcement.
Where once was a trendy couple, now stands a proverbial pop-tart family.
Me: Who's baby is that mate? Are you sitting for your sis?
Hori Guy: Surprise! The misso and I have a new little fella to introduce...
Hori Girl: He's such a blessing
Me: You've been packing the Hori Cannon! A rapid shot of spawn that has demolished my understanding of your relationship!
Hori Guy: Whatever man, we're off to claim benefits. Catch.
Hori Guy: Surprise! The misso and I have a new little fella to introduce...
Hori Girl: He's such a blessing
Me: You've been packing the Hori Cannon! A rapid shot of spawn that has demolished my understanding of your relationship!
Hori Guy: Whatever man, we're off to claim benefits. Catch.
by The phantom tanner March 12, 2019
Stemming from ancient Nordic boatbuilding times, this traditional hazing ritual has been rebirthed in the extended modern woodworking community and is still revered as a right of passage in this noblest of trades
An appreciative apprentice kneels within a standing circle of their peers, where as a true sign of respect, proceed to masturbate furiously over the face of "the chosen one".
Once the youngling has been supremely coated, this is directly followed by a large battering of sawdust to aid the curing process.
An important step is to have Rick Astley play in the background.
The pupil now becomes the plastered master
An appreciative apprentice kneels within a standing circle of their peers, where as a true sign of respect, proceed to masturbate furiously over the face of "the chosen one".
Once the youngling has been supremely coated, this is directly followed by a large battering of sawdust to aid the curing process.
An important step is to have Rick Astley play in the background.
The pupil now becomes the plastered master
A-Boy: The new guys really coming into his own, how long has he been here for?
B-Boy: I remember his first day, has to be about three years now
C-Boy: Oh boy, looks like he's prime for a Carpenters Bukkake, I'll grab the lube and dust
A-Boy: (singing) never gonna, never gonna, never gonna...
B-Boy: Kneel child, it's time for us to pay our respects
D-Boy: Thanks guys, it's such an honou……(muffled gargle)
B-Boy: I remember his first day, has to be about three years now
C-Boy: Oh boy, looks like he's prime for a Carpenters Bukkake, I'll grab the lube and dust
A-Boy: (singing) never gonna, never gonna, never gonna...
B-Boy: Kneel child, it's time for us to pay our respects
D-Boy: Thanks guys, it's such an honou……(muffled gargle)
by The phantom tanner March 12, 2019
A true test of male bonding, whereby one gentleman of sound mind and kindred spirit, befriends a casual aquaintance of his dearest fellow stag, and understands the pressures and limitations of a "spooning" relationship, and feels the desire to aid the demands of the female entity, and hence "hijacks" a proportion of the workload, of course with the best intentions for all.
After which, an agreement is made to perpetuate this arrangement until the needs of the damsel have been adequately fulfilled
After which, an agreement is made to perpetuate this arrangement until the needs of the damsel have been adequately fulfilled
Michael: That birds been around a few times this week mate, are you sure you're up to the task?
Peter: Not a problem, my friend JC has been more than happy to share the workload. And even though I cannever recall asking him, I'm relieved he's there for me
Tim: Seems like a clear cut case of Spoon Jacking to me, and we should all be very grateful
Peter: Not a problem, my friend JC has been more than happy to share the workload. And even though I cannever recall asking him, I'm relieved he's there for me
Tim: Seems like a clear cut case of Spoon Jacking to me, and we should all be very grateful
by The phantom tanner October 31, 2014
An ancient game, only still performed by those of high society. Whereby, the initiator partially exposes his genitals in a subtle gesture and challenges a fellow colleague to determine whether the exposed skin is of a penile or testicular nature, all while announcing "wafflejimjam! Cock or ball?" After which the colleague is forced to respond.
Bradley: *unzips fly* Wafflejimjam! Cock or ball?
Peter: That's gotta be cock for sure...
Bradley: Haha! Wrong again!
Peter: I never knew you waxed?
Peter: That's gotta be cock for sure...
Bradley: Haha! Wrong again!
Peter: I never knew you waxed?
by The phantom tanner November 26, 2013
Evidence of domestication throughout Turkey circa 9500 bc led to a traditional incorporation of this versatile legume into middle eastern culture as a culinary staple.
Owing to its obvious physical appearance of a petite areolar, initial naming of the nipple bean was purportedly focused on subduing sexual urgency of Iranian men, who at the time were widely known for a generous slow cooked meat diet, lacking any fibrous input.
This had an immediate impact on teenage frustrations between sexes, complimented by a marked improvement in digestive health.
To promote marital modesty, the nipple bean would later be crushed and prepared as a paste, known today as hummus.
Owing to its obvious physical appearance of a petite areolar, initial naming of the nipple bean was purportedly focused on subduing sexual urgency of Iranian men, who at the time were widely known for a generous slow cooked meat diet, lacking any fibrous input.
This had an immediate impact on teenage frustrations between sexes, complimented by a marked improvement in digestive health.
To promote marital modesty, the nipple bean would later be crushed and prepared as a paste, known today as hummus.
Moe-G: I can’t stand nipple beans in my casserole!
Moe-F: Dont you mean chickpeas?
Moe G: Yes, the beans with the nipple, those ones.
Moe-F: Dont you mean chickpeas?
Moe G: Yes, the beans with the nipple, those ones.
by The phantom tanner May 7, 2022
Evidence of domestication throughout Turkey circa 9500 bc led to a traditional incorporation of this versatile legume into middle eastern culture as a culinary staple.
Owing to its obvious physical appearance of a petite areolar, initial naming of the nipple bean was purportedly focused on subduing sexual urgency of Iranian men, who at the time were widely known for a generous slow cooked meat diet, lacking any fibrous input.
This had an immediate impact on teenage frustrations between sexes, complimented by a marked improvement in digestive health.
To promote marital modesty, the nipple bean would later be crushed and prepared as a paste, known today as hummus.
Owing to its obvious physical appearance of a petite areolar, initial naming of the nipple bean was purportedly focused on subduing sexual urgency of Iranian men, who at the time were widely known for a generous slow cooked meat diet, lacking any fibrous input.
This had an immediate impact on teenage frustrations between sexes, complimented by a marked improvement in digestive health.
To promote marital modesty, the nipple bean would later be crushed and prepared as a paste, known today as hummus.
Moe-G: I can’t stand nipple beans in my casserole!
Moe-F: Dont you mean chickpeas?
Moe G: Yes, the beans with the nipple, those ones.
Moe-F: Dont you mean chickpeas?
Moe G: Yes, the beans with the nipple, those ones.
by The phantom tanner May 6, 2022