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7 definitions by The Artist Formerly Known as Elyse

 
1.
A magical, beautiful store where confused young suburbanites in landlocked cities across America can spend $200 to sport surfwear, pre-ripped jeans, and cheap, mass-produced "vintage" shirts. Usually occupied by extremely snooty employees distracted by the latest news on who Ashley or Amanda is dating this week.
"OMGZ! i just gotz these hawt jeanz frum Hollister letz go surfn on a pond sumwere. LOLZOL!"
 
2.
a. A small town in West Central Pennsylvania

b. The birthplace of civilization (at which time, it just stopped growing, and remained completely primal as the inhabitants continued to abuse pain medication and drive pick-up trucks to Wal-Mart.)
"Hey, yins! Wanna go walk around Wal-Mart?!"
 
3.
1. High-speed ice-swiffering.
::swiffers the ice:: (you know. curling)
 
4.
1. A horrible way of selling beer.

2. A horrible way of selling beer by which you also introduce pop culture diahrrea to millions of Americans in a matter of seconds.
Commercial: Wazzup?

Consumer: HAHAHAHAHA OH MAN WAZZUP?
 
5.
1. A place of great merry-making and glee. Usually accompanied by hardcore music and spurratic kicking/punching/etc.

2. A gathering of local show-goers looking for cheap plastic surgery or tooth extraction.
HARDCORExKID: Hey, what happened to Jimmy's nose?
dX KiLL U: Mosh pit.
 
6.
A Cartoon with a cult following of <b>every man alive</b>. Is the substitute for all life function in a man's life and can replace any of the following:
-Food
-Sleep
-Shelter
-Clothes
-Sex
-A Job
Wife: Honey, since it's our anniversary, I have something really special for you...

Husband: Aww honey, I love y-IS THAT FAMILY GUY ON TV?!
 
7.
1. Government conspiracy set up after the ebola virus literally ATE THROUGH some land near Colorado and Utah.

2. Nonexistant.

3. A throne of lies.
Police: Where were you on the night of the murder?

Suspect: Wyoming.

Police: Son, there is no Wyoming. This alibi simply doesn't check out...