One who will bring on the piss. Can be hired on google. Will couat you down for a reasonable price.
"That kid smelled like he was dipped in a vat of piss. Like he woke up that morning and said "Whoo! Bring on the piss!" and someone brought on the piss. I don't know who would bring piss on, but you can pretty much hire anybody on Google these days. Just type in Piss Painters and someone will coat you down for a reasonable price."