2 definitions by TehMaestro

Top Definition
Pseudonym of 1LT Jaclyn Gill of the 94th BSB, 4th Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Polk, Louisiana. So named because she made some (bad) amateur porn in college and in one video, (after a BAD blowjob), swallows a guy's load through a blue funnel inserted into her mouth, then wipes it out with her hands and licks it from her fingers. She is also a total bitch who is the personification of incompetence, pure evil, and has a busted-looking rotten snatch.
Person 1: "Did you see the video where Jackie drinks the jizz through the blue funnel?"

Person 2: "Yeah, it made me puke so hard, my dog jumped out the window. Blue Funnel's one disgusting bitch."

Person 1: "I'd hit it."

Person 2: "Yeah, with a stick maybe."
by TehMaestro January 08, 2008
A medical condition characterized by crossed eyes, nausea, uncontrollable growth of ass-hair, and in severe cases, projectile vomiting, uncontrolled diarrhea and a persistent vegetative state. It is caused by overexposure to the Blue Funnel video.

It's rapid, virus-like spread through the Iraq Theater of Operations is causing entire units to be Combat Ineffective. These crippled units are being re-deployed from Iraq under the guise of the drawdown of US "Surge" forces.

The condition is preventable and can be cured with massive doses of good porn with actual hot chicks who know how to give a blowjob.
Private: "Sarge! Jones is shitting and puking all over himself in his bunk!!!!"

Sarge: "Shit!! Get me a DVD over here starring Tera Patrick and Sky Lopez NOW!"

Private: "Should I call the medics?"

Sarge: "No time. Jones' case of Funnel Vision is one of the worst I've seen. He was a damn good man. You and me are the only ones left, Private. We need to stop the spread of that video; The Worst Porno of All Time."
by TehMaestro February 09, 2008

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