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42 definitions by Talmanes

 
1.
A phrase taken from a popular joke. To say someone is "in the barrel" or "taking a turn in the barrel" means it's their turn to do an unpleasant task or to suffer an unpleasant experience. The joke is as follows:
A sailor on a Navy ship had been out to sea for weeks, and was beginning to go through sex withdrawals. Fed up with the lack of sex, he asked one of his shipmates what he did when the pressure was too much to take.

"Well, there's a barrel with a hole in it near the mop storage. When it gets to be too much for us, we use that."

So the sailor went over to the barrel and decided to give it a go. Finding it was better than he'd expected, he began using it regularly, and his problems seemed to vanish.

After a couple of weeks, his commanding officer began to take notice, and said, "You seem to be a lot more relaxed. What's your secret?"

The sailor, embarrassed to give a straight answer, simply said he'd been getting better rest.

"Well good, sailor. You're going to need it," replied the officer. "Today's your turn in the barrel."
by Talmanes December 10, 2004
669 93
 
2.
The state of anticipating or expecting sexual intercourse from a social encounter, be it a date, a party, or a booty call. It describes a period of optimistic waiting that is just shy of a sure thing.
A: Girl, you gonna give him some?
B: I don't know, but he's sexpecting.

On the ride home from that date, the sexpectation was killing me!

Just because you sexpect something doesn't mean you're getting it.
by Talmanes November 15, 2005
456 55
 
3.
Someone who gives every appearance of being homosexual, but is in fact heterosexual. A fauxmosexual male may display metrosexual attention to hygiene, style, and culture, have an effeminate speech pattern or display effeminate behavoir in gesticulation and mannerism, and/or give the basic impression of being gay. A faumosexual female may be fairly butch in appearance and style, display a militant feminist ("feminazi") attitude toward men, or show strong proclivities toward Lilith Fair or other female empowerment. These are the people you "just know" are gay, but who seem to show proof to the contrary.
People say that Tom Cruise is gay, but I think he's just a fauxmosexual.

I work with this guy who wears nuthugger jeans and talks with a total San Fran lisp, but apparently he's not actually a fag; he's just a fauxmosexual.

I totally thought Liz was a dyke because of her shaved head and leather, but I met her boyfriend yesterday. Talk about textbook fauxmosexual.
by Talmanes December 26, 2005
300 32
 
4.
(noun, plural) Balls, testicles, nuts. A popular term in Cockney rhyming slang. Taken from Jacobs crackers, a cracker manufacturer, it rhymes with knackers, which is itself a popular British slang term for balls. Used to great effect by Brick Top in the Guy Ritchie film "Snatch."
If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. And if you ever interrupt me whilst I'm walking, I'll cut your fucking jacobs off!
by Talmanes December 01, 2005
484 220
 
5.
1. n. Short for "grandmother," used informally.

2. v. To throw an object by holding it in both hands and pitching it underhand, generally while bending the knees. Used often when referring to a style of throwing a basketball for those too weak or innacurate to make it to the hoop.

3. n. Short for "Granny Smith," a type of apple.
1. Are we going to see Granny? She makes awesome potato salad.

2. If you can't make a free throw regularly, man, just granny it up there. It's just a pickup game.

3. Man, that was a good granny I just ate there.
by Talmanes March 02, 2006
247 30
 
6.
Flatulence which loosens the bowels enough to void an amount of fecal matter, be it just a bit or an entire load. In other words, when you mean to fart and accidentally shit yourself.
Aww, man... I just let a hard fart go, and now I've got to throw out my new underwear!

You should check your drawers, man. That sounded like a hard fart to me.
by Talmanes November 16, 2005
223 22
 
7.
(n.) From the Italian "strunzo," meaning "piece of shit." A fairly common Italian insult for someone or something worthless.
Get a load of this strunz out here, sleepin' on the job!

My lawnmower's a fuckin' strunz. It won't start for nothin'.
by Talmanes May 21, 2006
229 45