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1 definition by Taking Back Monday

 
1.
A virtual pet site that started in 1999. Its main objective was for the user to adopt up to four pets of whatever species was available and feed/play with/train them. The currency you used to buy items on the site was called neopoints which could be earned through games, trade, shops, random events, or sexual e-favors to the staff. Thus everyone became a money hungry whore who played games 24/7 because a paintbrush is worth more than their soul and/or social life.

Games include snake, tetris, brick, pong, memory, and bastardized versions of poker, blackjack, horse races, and slot machines. All of which are sure to cause a gambling problem in your child before they reach puberty.

After you waste a month or so playing this (not really) cleverly disguised shit you can go buy 10,000 neopoints worth of imaginary crap that will never appear in your inbox anyway because the site is riddled with glitches no one ever fixes.

You also had the option of communicating with pedophiles, rapists, 14 year old girls, and other assorted neopet members via the neoboards. There were a few different boards such as Trading and Shops where you'd advertise your overpriced shit and hope some 8 year old would buy it, the Quests board where you'd beg people to give you their shit that you needed "for a quest", the Guild board that ran on shameless self promotion and weirdos trying to get you to join their cult, the Roleplay board where you could pretend to be an angsting 13 year old with an alcoholic father or a vampire, and of course the general chat where you could cyber with a horny, balding, middle aged porn addict who says there a 16 year old blonde female. The general chat was taken down after the staff dislodged their heads from their asses for two seconds to see what the hell was going on there.

Now everyones on the Evil Things And Monster Sightings board where the majority of users complain about emo, lables, whos goth and whose not, emo, not being a conformist, making fun of conformists, emo, how much they hate "greenday", emo, complaining about "preps" and "posers" even though they hate lables, and ummmmm... Emo. Basically its a magical land filled with hypocrisy and bad grammar.

The basic format of the site has changed dramatically over the years also. It used to be pretty basic with no ads or fancy flashing bullshit. Now in order to access the shops you must have a flash plug in that not everyones computer supports (especially if you live in the ghetto) and put up with 3 annoying bannars every second you're on the frikken site.

Neopets.com also has a strict set of rules to follow if you don't want your account to be frozen or "iced" as I think they're calling it these days. They basically consist of bullshit only idiots would attempt, fall for, or get caught doing. If you actually report anyone for breaking the rules you are a whore.

To sum it up neopets was cute for 3 seconds. Then the communists/capitolists took over.
Neopets began sucking your mother when they sold themselves to the advertising agencies.
by Taking Back Monday July 18, 2006