Laying the 'black and brown' to create a nice even surface!
Getting a ground crew in (4 friends) to each hold a corner down on a large tarpaulin sheet. Then once you have that in place, you will then need your girlfriend to go on 'All Fours' in the center of it. Once she is in position you may the sit on her back like a horse rider and begin to shit over her back. Once the shit is laid you will then be required to use your ass cheeks to spread and smear it all over her back until you have a nice and even gripping surface! Tarmacing's done lads, lets have a cuppa tea!