15 definitions by Syracuse JOHNSON

Top Definition
The name used for someone who has a clutch role in any situation, similar to a closer in pro baseball.
Come on Papelbon, we’re counting on you to get the weed for the 4am blunt to smoke before we pass out tonight.

You’re in charge of making dessert for our high feast. Unless you can’t handle the pressure of being the closer…

Call me a closer cuz I always seal the deal in the bedroom!
by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009
A chick so short that it makes you wanna put her in your pocket and carry her around with you everywhere you go. (Named for the Mattel toy sold in the 90s.)

Specifications: attractiveness, non-dwarf/midget, vagina
Yo, I met this shorty the other day that was so fuckin cute and small that I just wanted to pick her up and drop her into my pocket.

So you met a Polly Pocket. Yeah, I could use me one of those.
by Syracuse JOHNSON December 13, 2009
Far worse than nausea, headaches, vomit stains, battle wounds, dehydration, cramps, gas, the shits, grogginess, toilet hugging or when “the sunlight hits you dead in the eye, like it’s mad you gave half the day to last night.”

Occurs when you wake up and notice you’ve spent a copious amount of money the previous blackout night. Could include leaving your tab open at a bar, or simply losing your wallet like a true inebriated dumbfuckboozer.
Dude, I’ve got the worst hangover. My head is pounding harder than I pounded that slizz last night.

Check your wallet fuckface, I bet your financial hangover’s worse. You bought the entire bar shots of Jack last night.
Yo, you gotta have the worst financial hangover mankind’s eva seen. You bought multiple fifths, a quap of trees, six pizzas and an STD-free prostitute.

I wish I remember at least one of those purchases, but at least I’m classy and didn’t buy myself the herp.
by Syracuse JOHNSON October 19, 2009
Tonsil hockey for high school kids occurs when you poke some bitch’s tonsils with your dick. It’s not your standard blowjob, it’s the aggressive kind when you grab the skank’s head and give those tonsils some solid hits.
‘Lil bro, I hope you’re having your fun playing tonsil hockey in junior high, but tonsil billiards is where it’s at in high school.
by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009
To purposefully, publicly, indiscreetly disrespect someone whose face is not worthy for hands and soul not reputable enough for a pimp slap or bitch slap, by humiliating this repugnant enemy with the swing of a pizza slice that connects with his/her/its face.

This demoralizing act is acutely difficult due to the size of the slapping device and the proximity to the person being slapped. The specific type of slap we are considering often takes place during an argument, at a table designated for eating, and/or when someone is not paying attention to you as in a sneak attack pizza slap (less difficult to complete). It is usually performed by someone who lacks the confidence to deliver a strong punch, or by someone whose confidence oozes out their ears and executes this smack of humility to prove how skilled he/she is.

Remember, to complete a pizza slap, you must hold on to the slice of pizza through the connection with the face of your enemy. Should you release the slice prior to its marriage with the cheek, it would constitute a food fight. And you know that shit's just juvenile. Also, beware of your opponent's potential reaction to this action. Please be warned that he/she/it may be speechless, in awe, with a bright red face (from both rage and the pizza's ingredients), or bawling in tears. Once a pizza slap is finalized, you'll realize that it's a great way to end argument, and would be quite ironic if you pizza slap a pizza bitch.
If you really hate your ex-girlfriend, you should ask her to dinner and pizza slap her in front of the entire restaurant.
by Syracuse JOHNSON October 17, 2009
When you’re making moves and need someone to do something unexpectedly extraordinary.
Polak, we need you to make big plays and find a way for us to play ruit in your basement tonight.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. I’ll figure something out, and it’ll be real. It’ll be fun. It’ll be real fun! Even though I'm Polish...
by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009
When a tab whore cannot bear to shutdown his computer for the risk of losing all the open websites in his tab dump.
Dude, my computer is runnin slower than turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Just restart it fuckface.

Can't. My tab anxiety's killin' me. I need to check out these links but haven't had the time.
by Syracuse JOHNSON February 25, 2010
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