gingh ritch A psycho-dermatologic condition resulting from close contact with santorum (see def.) and characterized by the need for repeated scratching of scaly nether-regions. This syndrome is most commonly found in affluent public figures running for orifice on a conservative moral agenda while liberally helping themselves to carnal pleasures.
Patient: I can't stand the itch, doc. I just keep on scratching.
Doctor: I can tell. Your gonads are certainly inflamed and
your tests came back positive for gingrich.
Unfortunately, it's of the "newt" variety.
Patient: What are you saying, doc? What are my odds?
Doctor: Not great. I'd wager 3:1 you don't become President.
n. A two-pronged act consisting of abbreviated sexual aggression followed by an equally abbreviated, futile effort to flee. This orchestration is often attempted by high ranking officials of the International Monetary Fund in their efforts to share "seed money" with disenfranchised members of the global community.
Victim: Officer, I believe he pulled a Strauss-Kahn on me.
Officer: What makes you think that?
Victim: Just take a look at my underwear.
Officer: Oh my gosh -- these are definitely the markings of
a Strauss alright! Where might I find the Kahn?
Victim: If you act fast enough, you'll foil his efforts to flee by
intercepting him at the airport. Likely on a flight to Paris.