Quite possibly the greatest place on the planet, this is reflected by British Tourist industry figures. More people from the UK go to Cornwall on holiday then fly abroad. Problem is, we don't want you here. We live in a beautiful place far far away from the North East or any crime-rife cities and we, the Cornish people would like to keep it that way.
Nothing pisses me off more than not being able to surf because of the sheer volume of pastey-white bodies on the beach and in the water. Really, stay at home this summer, we'll like you a lot more for it.
'Bloody Emmets! You can't move for them' (Emmet being a derogatory term for a holiday maker, it has its origins in the Cornish word for 'ant'