His superpowers include:
> The ability to incapacitate you by looking at you
> Making grown men cry
> Touching his concubine in public
> Making ANYONE withing viewing distance completly flacid
Schneider Man: Never fear, I am here!
Victim: * Dies horrible painful death, inclusive of melting eyballs, imploding ears and all other senses brutally murdered by being in close proximity to Schneider Man