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5 definitions by Suburban Decay

 
1.
A tutor is not a "bong." A tutor is similar to a teacher, except unlike a teacher, a tutor is able to offer students one-on-one attention and actually explain difficult concepts so that they make sense.

Tutors are often students themselves, volunteering their time to fulfill one or more of these objectives:
a) Fill their resumes or
b) Actually help kids or
c) Make money

Whether in it for a, b, or c, most tutors know what they're doing.
Samantha: Can you go out for lunch?

Sherry: I can't. I'm tutoring.

Samantha: You mean smoking a bong?

Sherry: No; I tutor kids in subjects like algebra and writing. Like a teacher?

Samantha: But the internet defines a tutor as a bong!

Sherry: Not anymore.
by Suburban Decay January 29, 2011
 
2.
1. Money that is spent in vain, and upon retrospection, seems to have "vanished," just as a vampire does while looking into a mirror.

2. A song by My Chemical Romance that lyrically examines the vain of earning vampire money; i.e. selling out.
Band Boy A: We just got a record deal! We just got paid $100,000!

Band Boy B: We are so rich and famous!

(two months later)

Band Boy A: It was all vampire money.

Band Boy B: Fuck. We're broke and alone.
by Suburban Decay January 01, 2011
 
3.
An ambiguous term implying various degrees of emotional, physical, and imaginative closeness.
1. MySpace Friend, circa 2006: "I acknowledge the existence of this profile."

2. Facebook Friend, circa 2010: "I acknowledge the existence of this person."

3. Real Friend, circa ∞: "I don't acknowledge. I just know."
by Suburban Decay January 15, 2011
 
4.
A nickname for suburban girls who use the makeup line, "urban decay." The name communicates the truth of this enterprise--namely, that the only individual willing to purchase a $95 "gift set" that is intended to make you look like a prostitute is a suburban, teenage girl.

In urban areas, most females do not wish to be confused for a hooker.
Samantha lives in the suburbs. Samantha is taking the train to the city this weekend. Samantha cannot decide whether to wear red eyeshadow with dark red lipstick, or to smother her face in hot pink glitter blush for a more 'natural' look.

Unable to decide, Samantha settles on doing both.

Upon arrival in the city, a pimp approaches Samantha and requests that "ho, come get back to yo daddy."

Samantha is an example of suburban decay.
by Suburban Decay January 27, 2011
 
5.
A kick ass band that is falsely accused of being emo and sell-out. They aren't fucking emo, you asswipes. And I can't believe no one has mentioned alternative. I mean, you try writing lyrics and playing bass like Pete, composing and singing like Patrick, playing guitar like Joe or drumming like Andy! And for all those fangirls who see Pete as the only fucking member of the band, go fuck yourself. They had a LIFE before going famous. Their old songs are way better, though. I mean, I saw a vid on YT of them playing in some small revenue before they made it big and were more local, and they were all smiles and laughs. And their songs aren't only Dance, Dance, Sugar We're Going Down, This Ain't A Scene It's An Arms Race or Thnks fr th Mmrs!
Fuckwit: Fall Out Boy is sooo fucking emo! They're lyrics are so melodramatic and fucking shallow! The lead singer's a fatass and can't sing for shit!

Decent Human Being: Fuck off! They ain't emo! And if you'd actually listen to their god damn lyrics, they're actually metaphorical and I bet it'd take you a fucking millienium to interpret them! Stop being a hypocrite, you couldn't sing if I pointed a gun to your head and threatened to blow your fucking brains out!
by Suburban Decay October 21, 2007