54 definitions by Submitter of Words

The official dogma of the Catholic Church.

Credit goes to Christopher Hitchens
"no child's behind left"

Ok, maybe that's a stretch. But there's definitely at least a grain of truth to it.
by Submitter of Words April 22, 2011

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The tendency for conservatives to think largely in terms of black and white for every single issue on the planet. Mostly a result of an absolutist religious upbringing, I believe.

An example,

Bob, a 43 year old loving father of two, with a spotless criminal record, assaults a sixteen year old girl. Everyone is shocked and puzzled. When caught, he has a nervous breakdown and is put in a mental institution. There, he undergoes various tests and scans. Doctors discover a giant tumor in the part of the brain responsible for sexual activities.

They remove it via surgery, and he's back to normal again. There's no doubt about it - from similar cases we can see that tumors in that part of the brain drive normal men crazy. What to do?
Liberal: After having considered all the evidence, I don't see any point in incarcerating him. He's not a threat. I fucking hate worthless child molesters but he clearly can't be held responsible for this. Probation should do, just in case I'm wrong. (though i doubt it)

Moderate: The science involved certainly seems to indicate that he's not responsible for this disgusting deed. Given his prior record, he doesn't seem like a threat. Still, I'm not totally convinced. A year in prison maybe? More testing, in any case.

Conservative: Why the fuck are we even talking about this? Tumors don't do anything anyway, that's just a THEORY! Has everyone lost their fucking mind, he attacked a helpless child! Stone him to death! Oh wait, I forgot that we don't live in Afghanistan or Iran. Well in that case, give 'im the lethal injection. Shit, that's not allowed for non-murderers? SHIT! I swear, liberals are bleeding this fucking country dry! DEATH TO LIBERALS!!! *waves rebel flag*

Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder is a major problem in the US, sadly. Mostly as a result of religious faith.

For another example, see black and white thinkers.
by Submitter of Words June 13, 2011

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Similar to the race card, but used by conservatives.

Something they tout as an answer to every single social issue in existence. Such reasoning is fallacious, however, because in actuality life is much more complicated..
Conservative: If people don't want babies, they shouldn't have sex. That way, abortion wouldn't even be necessary. Think, liberals, think! Personal responsibility, people!
Liberal/Moderate: Ok, so if abortion was banned, it's true that less people would have irresponsible sex, and there might be far fewer abortions. You're right on that one. But what about in cases of rape? You can't mount the "personal responsibility" defense there - people don't choose to get raped.
Conservative: Make abortion legal only in cases of rape then.
L/M: Well how are you supposed to know when the hell she's lying then? You'd be encouraging women to lie. Same problem as before, she just has to employ a different method of getting around it. How are you supposed to distinguish between the liars and the true victims?
Conservative: Polygraph.
L/M: In a perfect world, those things are fully reliable. But they're clearly not. Since we don't live in a perfect world, and polygraphs sometimes fail, we may as well legalize abortion considering that there are many cases where it's very necessary. Of course there are whores who will use it as birth control. But that's unavoidable.
"personal responsibility card"

Personal responsibility is important but it doesn't take into account factors that are outside of the person's control. For instance, conservatives are operating under the assumption that welfare discourages the work ethic and personal responsibility. But what about people with Parkinson's, or similar diseases? What about valuable workers that have been laid off en masse by struggling companies and need aid to get that back on their feet? Are they necessarily lazy and lacking personal responsibility?
by Submitter of words June 15, 2011

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What some liberals and minorities pull when losing an argument.

For the conservative version, see Personal responsibility card.
"race card"
Both sides need to focus less on cheap tactics and more on earnest dialogue, in my opinion.
by Submitter of Words June 20, 2011

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I've seen definitions 10,000 "characters" long, but for some reason we're restricted to only 1500 now. Which sucks.
The Super Fucking Obnoxious 1500 Character Limit is the worst thing to happen to this site in a long time... some definitions are meant to be long, people!
by Submitter of Words June 13, 2011

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The neoconservative version of the race card. What neocons pull when trying to get you to support an unpopular war or the like.
Bob: So what if there weren't any WMD's? If you don't support the war effort, you're anti-american!
Joe: Way to pull the anti-american card bro...
by Submitter of Words June 22, 2011

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Conservatives. They tend to think largely in terms of absolutes. Now don't get me wrong, absolute values are important - by no means do I support moral relativism - but it's necessary to recognize the many shades of grey involved in individual cases too. That is, after all, what situational ethics is all about.
I suspect that many of the conservatives I've met don't recognize these gray areas largely because of their absolutist religious upbringing.

A few scenarios:
A nine year old girl, tragically, is raped and impregnated by her stepfather. What to do? According to the religious absolutist, abortion is, under all circumstances, 100% wrong. Unless the birth is life-threatening, she can't abort.

Moderate: I don't normally support abortion, but here it's necessary.
Liberal: I think abortion is a right that belongs to the mother. I would support her right to choose if this girl was nine or twenty nine, raped or non-raped. (although i would personally disapprove of it in the latter).
Conservative: Fucking baby killers! It's an innocent fucking BABY we're talking about!
(as opposed to a non-sentient cluster of cells, lacking a nervous system and the ability to feel pain)

I had a much better example but the stupid character limit fucked me over.

See my future definition, Conservative Black and White Thinking Disorder for that one.
I blame religion for turning so many conservatives into black and white thinkers.

And this is why I dislike religion - it so often stops people from thinking. If people were encouraged to think in terms of individual cases as opposed to coming to each and every unique situation with a preconceived bias (abortion is MURDER!)...well, I don't know. We might have a better world. Just maybe.
by Submitter of Words June 13, 2011

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