16 definitions by Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Top Definition
{hawnt-d sekx} noun, 1. Bizarre intercourse using the missionary position where the participant on the bottom, laying on their back with face up, is motionless - virtually catatonic - and absolutely quiet with an blank, eerie expression on their face throughout the entire sexual act 2. intercourse with a coldfish that is mentally uncomfortable and/or disturbing due to the comportment of the coldfish 3. any form of creepy, eery or weird non-fetish sexual activity 4. sex with a ghost, e.g. succubus or incubus

Note: Haunted sex is much more than motionless, lazy sex or zombie sex. There is a definite element of the profoundly disturbed present - something straight out of the Twilight Zone. Furthermore, no one suspects that they are about to experience this type of sex. There are no signs present to indicate that you are in for the truly bizarre (i.e. the potential sex mate appears to be completely normal - for all practical purposes it seems that you are going to get laid and it just might be some great sex).

Very irksome to those of us who have had the mis-fortune of experiencing it.
Last night I had the worst sexual experience of my life with a coldfish. Truly awful - she didn't move and just laid there with an empty expression on her face the whole time. It really sent a shiver up my spine. I'd have been better-off staying at home and choking the chicken.

She's really weird - all your going to get from of her is haunted sex. My advice to you is to not waste your time - unless you're into bizarre sex.

Anna Nicole Smith stated that she had haunted sex with an incubus. She reported that it went up her leg and gave her the best orgasm that she had ever experienced. Plus she wasn't afraid - she liked it. Ms. Smith had problems.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 18, 2009
{kum keeler} noun, 1. Anything that brings intercourse to a non-climactic end and completely kills any and all sex drive/desire 2. A person that starts crying and/or becomes overly needy, emotional, contemplative and/or somber during intercourse
That shotgun blast to my ass was a real cum killer.

Her nasty fart was a real cum killer.

She's a real cum killer - all of a sudden she started to sob while we were shagging.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 15, 2009
{spah-tur-hoond} noun, 1. A person that derives pleasure and gratification from ejaculation (typically male) upon their head, neck and face; the central tenet of this cum fetish is that the longer and forceful the stream, and the greater the volume of ejaculate, the better; frequently performed in a group setting, e.g. a circle jerk
The spatterhund took on ten guys and was blinded by jizz.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 15, 2009
{beeg dahddee dook} noun, 1. A very popular male - especially amongst females 2. An alpha male with lots of money 3. A very large penis
We'll get Big Daddy Duke to bring the chicks.

He ain't called Big Daddy Duke for no reason - he makes a hundred grand a year.

Wow, he's got a Big Daddy Duke - I couldn't get it all the way in. I choked, I gagged, I quiffed...Oh my!
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 15, 2009
{cown-ter fuhk} noun, 1. sexual intercourse outside of a relationship as retaliation for a partner's cheating or other infidelities 2. the person with which one has the counter fuck intercourse
I think she should counter fuck him. That'll teach him not to cheat.

He cheated on her last week so she's on a mission to find a counter fuck.

Check it out, there goes his counter fuck.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does October 10, 2009
{frah-gee-tah} noun, 1. An overly needy, insecure person; typcially a female
My girl is such a fragita, she freaks out if I simply look at another woman.

No matter what I do for her/him, it seems that my fragita can never get enough attention from me.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 15, 2009
{shag-nats} noun, 1. a very hairy scrotum
He has shaggnatts.
by Stupid Is As Stupid Does September 15, 2009

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