One who sits on the couch all Sunday long watching his fantasy football stat tracker while ocassionally glancing up to actually watch the NFL games. He is doing nothing but drinking beer, eating snacks and getting fatter. His or her (see sports spy for "her") gear includes wireless internet, laptop, beer, big screen TV and sometimes friends. Friends are optional because they will cut into your stat tracker watching.
Closet Fat tracker: Hey man, lets go to the bar and watch the game.
Fat tracker: Do they have WIFI?
Closet Fat tracker: What's WIFI? (he knows what WIFI is and that this particular bar does not have it)
Fat Tracker: Nah, lets watch the game here.
Closet Fat tracker: That's lame...there are no chics here.
Fat tracker: Uhh...Ummm...the A/C repair guy is scheduled to repair my...Uhh..A/C between the hours of 12:00 pm and 10:30 pm..so I need to be here.
Closet Fat tracker: Sounds Good!