Douche Master, otherwise know
as Doucheronicus Americanus, or The Master of Douches. Most commonly found
in Ohio or New Jersey, south of LA, or on the beach
in California. a douche master can be usually found
surrounded by many other
douche-followers, who all think they are the greatest
thing that ever happened to the human race, or is making fun of all his douche-followers, calling them douchebags, while
failing to realize
that he himself is the greatest
douchebag that ever walked the face
of this now cursed planet. This douche master alone increases the douchey-ness of his posse of douches, making everyone
they walk by want to utterly destroy them in the face
them a mortal kombat-esque
A douche master will most commonly be found
wearing a small, pink, tight
fitting ralph lauren
polo, a pooka
shell necklace', and about 3 quarts of hairgel. He usually
has plastic Oakley's or $1,000 sterling
silver and leather sunglasses which he enjoys talking about to everyone
he walks by. He is usually
caught wearing tight abercrombie
jeans, because he thinks everyone
wants to see his overly worked-out asscheeks.
Chad Kruger from
owns an iPhone, and most likely has his background of a tan bodybuilder wearing a day-glow candy-thong, but insists he is not gay, saying he has it only as inspiration of what
he wants to look like someday.
A douche master is most likely found traversing his "pussy pounding stomping
ground" in a "sick 3series
BMW, WITH Nav" that he drudgingly carts around his fellow
douche mongers, whose sole purpose in life is to poison all who see them and/or socially interact
with them. The Douche Master...is the loudest, most obnoxious, most obscene of all the douchebags he is with.
The usual symptoms of the Douche Master disease is the desperate
need to have an abundance of expensive hair
gel, and, in severe cases, hair
spray. Common symptoms include swelling,munchies,headaches,fever,nauseousness,small penis, and a sudden
desire for big muscles in a short time period. You will also
have an aching
desire to talk solely about with protein supplements
A guy named Mike, a guy named Evan, and/or people
1: "hey, wanna know how to make a thousand bucks?"
2. "Sure, tell me how!"
1: "Suck a big cock!"
2: "Wow, you are definitely a Douche Master"
1: " Thanks DOOD!"
2: "...that wasnt a compliment..."
Guy 1:" dude, look at all those douchebags."
Guy 2:"Whoah! what the hell is THAT?!"
Guy 1:"Is that...no!"
Guy 2:"yes...it has to be"
Guy 1:"That is...the megadouche!"
Guy 2:"No...Its...The Douche Master!"
Guy 1: "RUN!!!!"
Guy 2: "RUN!!!!"