Invented by Soviet General Georgi Zhukov in 1944, this amazing technique was used by the Red Army to pummel the Nazi war machine into submission by tossing ham into German-held towns and trenches. Tossed by an expert ham-thrower, an average flying piece of ham travels at an average of 76 mph. The end result is a massive pile of blood, brains, and gibs. Often fired from Artilley or by a soldier himself, ham has and now will forever be used as a monstrous weapon of war.
KID:*insert long paragraph here* Dammit! German forces have us outnumbered! What should we do?